10 REASONS WHY MEN NEED TO FIND A NEW BARBER!

Above Photo: My New Barber!

# 10.) You feel as if anyone who can cut hair lives in the other 49 U.S. States but not yours. Solution: Meet my new Barber (yes, that's her above). I am being completely serious on this sole point. Ever since I relocated to Phoenix, finding a really great Barber has been an ordeal. My hair has been lopsided and at worst, I resembled a backup singer for The B-52's. I'm happy to report that all of this is consigned to the trash basket of history with the arrival of my New Barber. She cut my hair a week and a half ago, and I actually left the salon feeling great. I asked a friend whom I trusted for a referral and she recommended her "Hair Stylist". Actually, that term never came up in our conversation. It was more like "Do you want the name of the girl who cuts my hair?" My friend's hair always looks great. Still, I asked, "Yeah, but can she cut guys hair?" Well, the answer is that she does and she did. Problem resolved. Still, it has been a long road. Let me clue you in on the 9 other "Reasons Why Men Need To Find A New Barber".

# 9.) Your Barber bears an unfortunate resemblance to John Gotti's Mug Shot. If you think I am kidding, look around and see if you can spot the photo on your current Barber's License framed on his Barber Shop wall. Does it look like this? If it does, regard this as a strong hint. Solution: Fake an incoming cell phone call and tell him you have an emergency that has come up and you will need to reschedule. The key here is to keep walking towards the door to Exit as you say all of this. A bold move! Without realizing it, you've taken your first step (no pun intended) to a better image!

# 8.) You feel suspicious. Yeah, I know. That Barber Pole on the outside of the shop looks legit, but you seem to overhear a radio playing from behind the back wall. It sounds like horse racing season is in full swing year-round. It could be a bookie operation. Does your Barber insist on a shave with a straight razor (even though you just used your electric Norelco razor at home not 30 minutes ago)? I'm just asking! Solution: The fake incoming cell phone call that is "an Emergency"!

Coincidence Outside The Courthouse?

# 7.) You have to appear in Traffic Court downtown to defend yourself on charges of speeding. Let's put aside how your case turned out. As you walk out the door and down the steps, you see six television "Action News" vans with a team of Reporters running toward a guy who bears an unfortunate resemblance to your Barber! Today, he's wearing a Double-Breasted Suit. I ask you. Who wears Double Breasted Suits, really? Your Barber has four lawyers with him. You try to remain optimistic: 'Maybe his Traffic Ticket was more complicated', you ask wistfully. After all, you defended yourself (successfully or not)! Something should begin to cause you to ask yourself, "What's wrong with this picture?" And, "How could my Barber afford those $1,200 suits on a Barber's salary?". Solution: Think about this real hard. Do you need to be searching for a New Barber? (There is a right answer). Next, let me be perfectly Honest with you.

# 6.) Recognize The Three Stooges? Boy, I do. Because at various time periods after relocating to Phoenix and trying to get a good haircut, I actually looked like Moe, Curly and Larry (most of the time it was Moe). If your Barber has a lot of time on his hands, he may be watching too many re-runs of The Three Stooges. As a result, he has three haircuts on his mind all day. Whichever one you receive is like playing The Lottery. Are you in the mood to risk your haircut for the next 3-4 weeks like this? I don't think so. Solution: Become aware of how your recent haircuts have turned out. Is there a pattern here? Also, if your current Barber has the television on during your haircut, what show is playing? (I'm just being practical here)! Like it or not, it's probably time to make a change to A New Barber.

# 5.) Does this photo look familiar? If so, I have a news flash for you (no pun intended toward me). Your current Barber may call this photo above a Salon, but it isn't. In fact, it could double for an "interrogation chair" for all you know! Scary? You bet. What else is in that drawer besides a straight razor? Solution: At least rent "The Godfather 1" from your nearest video store and see if you get that strange gut feeling that things might be a little off with your Current Barber. Having said this...

# 4.) Now THIS is what a legitimate hair salon should look like to you! My Barber doesn't drive a motorcycle, but I think her husband has one. For the sake of argument, let's say she had car trouble and borrowed his bike (picture above and slightly to the Left) to get to the Salon in time. You are starting to feel more secure about having made a switch to your New Barber by the time you walk in here! For those few of you left that still need convincing, this next one is going to hurt a little.

It's Not You, It's Your Bad Haircut!

# 3.) I hate to be rude, but let's say you felt obligated to let your Current Barber "try" to cut your hair one more time. You either live near a beach or you decide to travel to one. A girl sees you walking towards her and this is her reaction (photo above). It really isn't you...it's your Haircut! Solution: Make sure this scene never repeats itself in your lifetime! No question. This is the final verification. You must now change Barbers! Now let's have a look at the possible immediate benefit.

This Reaction is All About Your New Haircut!

# 2.) As a positive guy, I'm assuming that you took my advice and your bad haircut eventually grew back out. You just happen to spot the same girl on the beach who was horrified at your last haircut. It's probably been three or four weeks. This time out, things have changed. You have an entirely new haircut from A New Barber. Reality Check: Take a look at the two pictures above--Before and After. Which experience do you prefer? Total humiliation with the Bad Haircut, or Confidence in your New Haircut? Resolution: The Three Stooges are part of your past now and not your future. I rest my case. But in the unlikely event you over-analyze the new response from the girl on the beach, we'll consider one last point.

Mistaken Identity? No Worries!

# 1.) Finally, we arrive at Reason Number 1. You found a New Barber who is competent. The girl on the beach sees a lot of guys walking around. Who's to say she didn't mistaken you for Jon Bon Jovi? Confirmation: You made the right decision to change Barbers. Congratulations, and have a nice weekend!

Michael