"Hey! Let make some movies!" That's right boys and girls. "Friday Movie Suggestion Night" resumes with BOBBY DARIN'S biography Produced, Directed, Acted, Sung and Danced by the multi-talented Kevin Spacey who took five-long years to make this dream come true! Moreover it's officially Summertime! And I wanted a film that you could watch with the volume turned up that flat out brings back the finger-popping era of "Cool". Speaking of "Flat Out", Larry King calls this "FLAT OUT WONDERFUL!". Who else? I am not wearing my reading specs, but some guy named Sam Robin at KTLA-TV chimed in with: "ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES OF THE YEAR".Ebert & Roper gave it a "TWO THUMBS UP!" But as Jim Morrison once said, "Ah, what do we care?" Well, to each their own. Let's talk trash!
__________
Kate Bosworth is just as riveting as Spacey in her role of Sandra Dee. I watched this twice over two nights before trumping myself and deciding to recommend this movie. If you get the DVD, there's a terrific second DVD that takes you "Behind the Scenes" that is a "Must-See"! Spacey is one hell of a good singer! Yes, it's true. NOBritney Spears/Milli Vanilli games here with the lip-synching. In fact, Bobby Darin's original Manager, who continues to manage Bobby's image to this day (played by JohnGoodman) initially said "No way" to Spacey's actually singing 18 of Darin's hits--many with a full orchestra. I had no idea Bobby wrote 163 songs and made 486 recordings! "SplishSplash" took him only 20 minutes to write and got him on "The Ed Sullivan Show", which was really a way to kick ass in the 1960's if you were a musician going from singing at Bar Mitzvas to The Copacabana! "Mack the Knife" is great and Spacey actually blows the incomparable Sinatra away. My favorite scene is where Spacey strolls out onto the stage and opens with a performance of "Hello, Young Lovers". Spacey, I've come to learn has been appearing in musicals from age 14 to age 20. His dancing is flawless. Much of the film was shot in Berlin in 3 degree weather, with the actors pretending it is summer. The set construction for the nightclub venues were borne of genius (and done quite economically under Spacey's credible direction). Movie-ola's take note!
__________
This is basically a "Rags-to-Riches" story of a man and his dream who remained true to his convictions in music, in love and in conscience. For those of you who still feel lost, let me just say this and close out. I've worked in the Nostalgia Radio format, and with the resurgence over the past five years of "The Rat Pack" (Frank Sinatra,Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop and Shirley MacLaine) and the "Cool, Hip" attitude of social defiance and having fun with a whole new set of rules they introduced (just ahead of the Peace Movement) Bobby Darin--strangely--is the only guy who has been forgotten. I say "strangely", because when God gave us Sammy Davis, Jr., he also gave us Bobby Darin. We had two of the finest night club entertainers and only one was forgotten.
Yesterday was spent at a special computer shop--my fourth--after chips were discovered on my Logic Board and other expensive mechanisms enough to force a decision with a new Laptop after so many losses. I gave a new model a spin for a couple of hours and with two exceptions, I managed to visit each of you over the past 48 hours and discovered some beautiful news to share. Gina at THE ENGLISH STUDENT is engaged! Victoria of SHHH! VICTORIA'S SECRET! (not the store, but she could easily be one of their spokespersons!) has been a super Blog Bud and she Blogged about newfound Love & Happiness! ZULU'S SUBJECTIVENESS celebrated her daughter's 18th Birthday! Wow, I can remember my 87-year-young Aunt telling me at 16: "Live it up, honey cause you're only young once". I was able to pass along some good news to THOMAS SIEFERT--"our man in London"-- that The Beatle's film, "Let It Be" IS on DVD! I'm sure he is celebrating in either Danish or English! WEBMIZTRISdeliberated how she would handle a girl kicking another little kid--a boy in the Cahunas! There are babies about to be born and a couple of people like me awaiting word on Interviews. For others: Romance (spelled with a Capital R) is "in the air". No word yet from Donald TrumporJennifer Love-Hewitt--which leads me to believe neither received my Blog months ago. What a missed opportunity for The Donald to grab some press, me a plane ride to L.A. and meeting Jennifer...well. Let's not get serious even though this next item will kill you. I heard my first-ever Podcast of (who else?) GOLFWIDOW'S MINISTRY OF SILLY WALKS and it was at least cool to put a voice with the friendly Bumble Bee I interviewed recently. And smooth! It's so cool to be right about something once in a blue moon, and I still take credit for the idea of an obscure cable TV show ala "Waynes' World" replete with a studio in GW's basement as she glides effortlessly between patter and commercials. They were so diabolical that I had to scribble them down and then look them up. My God! They sounded like sponsors! Heather and Collin of MATTED SPAM explored a very cool Castle and it really was a draw as to who was the better photographer. But whatever you do, DO NOT miss CALM SEA, Tutu Bent's Hawaiian-based website that currently features the cutest film of her grandaughter playing tennis! I advised Tutu that I'm relieved someone s training when the lovely Serna and Venus Williams retire and begin their second careers modeling and doing TV commercials!
__________
A lady entered the Computer Shop and asked who wanted two kittens? I told her about a No-Kill Shelter and I feel certain the Cat's will soon be lounging comfortably atop air conditioning ducts along the floor of their new homes! After all, they are "Cool Cats" for more reasons than one! Although one young guy who was a technitian was honest about why he wouldn't adopt. "Man, I just can't handle their attitudes". (I started to laugh--what's new?--about this time). He continued. "They just don't care!"Lady with the Cats:"Their attitudes can be formed by you! No, you just have to work with them and they'll come around". No takers. LOIS LANE posted some cool kids pics too. We all need to be reminded what fun it is to be a kid no matter what age.
__________
Yesterday morning was the first time in over two years that I actually worked out at 7 A.M. Nothing was on television the night before and I experienced what Denny Shane talked about recently with Channel Surfing. I left Rev. Robert Tilton (of "Abasoyalatoyachimichanga" fame--God Help Us All!) on just long enough to crack up at his schtick about "Vowing" a thousand dollars and how it was Biblical. I wondered how he would do as a shrink on a Soap Opera and changed channels before the nausea began. At 1 A.M. it seemed like a good idea to clean out the refrigerator and get rid of leftovers that just never made it to the proverbial Side B (for all of you who remember Vinyl records).
__________
The car has new tires, brakes and get's scheduled engine maintenance tomorrow, so the Enterprise Rent-A-Car Guy stopped by and picked me up (without Paige Davis) for a lift back to their office to lease the car (without the paper bag on the window). On the heels of corporate rudeness, I have a nice telephone call to share with you--actually a Voicemail from the Chairwoman of Paige Davis' former Cable Network. I had mailed her a short, but well thought out letter encapsulating four years of beating on the doors of she and her business partners. Syntax? Her message was very kind and very genuine and I appreciated her sharing where the industry is (for the minute).
Colonel Frank Borman is an American Legend. Born in Gary, Indiana on March 14, 1928 his family later moved to Tucson, Arizona. A romance with airplanes at the age of 15 led to a career as an Air Force officer from 1950 to 1970. During that period, Borman earned his Bachelor's and Master's degrees in Science and Aeronautical Engineering, and worked as a test pilot and an Assistant Professor of Thermodynamics and Fluid Mechanics at West Point Military Academy. He was tapped by NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration) during the Administration of President Kennedy to help pilot the then-fledgling space exploration program. In 1965, Borman served as Commander of Gemini 7--the first-ever space rendevoux with Gemini 6A. Two years later, his leadership proved invaluable as one of the investigators of the tragic Apollo 1 launch pad fire that killed astronauts Virgil "Gus" Grissom, Roger Chaffee, and Ed White. Frank Borman led the team responsible for the exhaustive redesign of the Apollo spacecraft and its safety systems. On Christmas Eve, 1968 Borman made history as the Commander of Apollo 8--the first manned lunar orbital mission. The television broadcast from Apollo 8's spacecraft hear throughout the world that night saw Borman and his colleagues Bill Lovell and Jim Anders alternately reading from the Book of Genesis in an emotional "Good Night" to "the people of the Good Earth".
_____
The following year, while serving Eastern Air Lines as a Special Advisor, then President Richard Nixon selected Borman to serve as a special Presidential Ambassador to help seek support throughout the world for the release of American Prisoners of War held by North Vietnam. By December 1970 he returned to Eastern after retiring from NASA and became Vice President-Operations Group. By July, 1974 Borman became Vice President of General Operations and in December, 1975 he became Chairman of the Board, President and CEO charged with turning around the failing carrier. With Borman at the helm, the first-ever Variable Earnings Plan for employees began. From 1976-1980 the airline achieved record profits and expanded to Latin America after purchasing bankrupt Braniff International's route system, establishing a Kansas City Hub and embarking upon a fleet modernization plan. Frank Borman retired from the airline industry in 1986 and moved from Miami to Las Cruces, New Mexico where I became the first American journalist to be granted an interview in 16 years! Following are excerpts from my meeting that occurred just two days before 9/11. Of my original four mentors in life, Frank is the only survivor. Today, he is CEO of Patlex Corporation, a company engaged in enforcing and exploiting laser-related patents. Married to his high school sweetheart Susan, The Bormans are proud parents of two grown sons and four grandchildren.
_____
MM: So many times when I travel and I'm in the airport somewhere in America awaiting my flight, I'll notice someone watching a jet push-back using reverse thrust with no tug and I'll say to them, "Do you know who pioneered that procedure?"
___
Borman: (smiling) Eastern Air Lines.
___
MM: ...and I'd say "Colonel Frank Borman at Eastern Air Lines". Colonel what have you been up to in recent years?
___
Borman: I'm with a small company that owns patents on lasers, and we collect royalties from people that manufacture lasers.
___
MM: You knew Eddie Rickenbacker and Charles Lindbergh. Tell me about Captain Eddie (founder of Eastern Air Lines).
___
Borman:I met him, yes, several times. But at the time I met him, he was really quite old. He was no longer associated with Eastern. He was kind of bitter when I (first) met him. I remember one night, I sat at a dinner between him and Arthur Godfrey (early aviator and Radio/TV Entertainer), and they both were really sort of bitter about the way the world was going, how the U.S. was going, and it was kind of sad in a way. They had lost their optimism.
___
MM: You knew Charles Lindbergh as well.
___
Borman: Yes I knew him...
___
MM: I believe he and his wife actually watched your launch of Apollo 8?
___
Borman: They did. The day before they came down we had lunch with them. They watched the flight. President Johnson had a dinner and we all went to it. And then President Nixon appointed me to an environmental committee, and we traveled a lot together and so I got to know him pretty well.
___
MM: What are your recollections of Lindbergh?
___
Borman: One time we were in San Francisco going through the Bay Area Rapid Transit plans, taking a ride on it before the public did. As we were coming out of the station, there was a lot of clamor for autographs from people. So of course I did it. But he refused. And when I got on the bus with him, he said, "You know, I really admire you for being able to do that. I just can't bring myself to do it". He was, I think a very shy person. Very, very nice guy. And I don't think he was being reclusive in not signing autographs, he just wasn't comfortable in that kind of situation.
___
MM: You mention the Honor Code at West Point in your book as being responsible for establishing and guiding the principles and priorities in your life. With this in mind, what are your observations about leadership in the airline industry today?
___
Borman: It's very difficult for me to comment on the leadership today because I'm out of touch with it. But I do think that the industry as a whole has an enormous problem. Because of the scales of trying to run the modern airline industry under the Railway Labor Act that was enacted in 1926 for railroads, I think it's almost an impossible task. And people say. 'Well the salaries you're paying the pilots are too high'. I don't think that at all. I think that the salaries under our system are whatever people can negotiate. Unfortunately, I don't think that the airline management today has the capability of constraining or moderating salary requests. And I don't think the unions should. The unions in representing their people are going to try and get the best deal they can get. And too often that means the most they can get without looking into the future. I think that you're asking an awful lot of a union leader to assume the role of the moderator when that's really got to be a management chore. So it seems to me that the scales are terribly unbalanced, because I don't know of an airline that could take a strike. But I don't know what the answer is today for the airline industry in the future. I suspect it's going to be boom and bust. Probably the only way they can surmount this obstacle is to somehow tie salaries to profits, which we did with the Variable Earnings Program (predecessor to the programs in effect at Southwest and Continental Airlines). That makes some kind of sense. But that takes understanding on the part of union leadership.
___
MM: What are your observations on the Airbus A380 double-deck wide-body versus Boeing's proposed aircraft designs?
___
Borman: I think Boeing is on the better track. In the first place from the standpoint of just ground facilities, I have a difficult time understanding how they are going to handle that huge airplane. Boeing will be able to get more frequent flights to smaller destinations. They may be important for areas like Australia or Singapore. And I don't know the ASM's (Available Seat Mile) costs of any of these airplanes. I imagine that they must have ASM costs that are quite a bit smaller than the Sonic Cruiser (still on the shelf at Boeing). But that would be their only advantage in having a huge airplane (555-800 seats). I just think that would be a hard sell.
___
MM: The Airbus argument is that we need fewer 737's and 757's clogging up the airport runways and this would provide a solution. But they're also taking away a lot of frequencies.
___
Borman: Not only that. We need more runways rather than fewer airplanes, it seems to me. That's another thing. I fly a lot. (Borman pilots his own aircraft three times a week in addition to instructing Air Force Pilots). I use the air traffic control system. It's far better than it was in the Eighties. But it's clear you can't over-schedule the way they're doing it.
___
MM: What are your view on deregulation?
__
Borman: I think deregulation is wonderful. But I do think that one of the things Dr. (Alfred) Kahn didn't foresee, the price of entry now is impossible. And I don't think the established carriers have the resources to take a strike. So there's no balance between the two forces--if you will--between management and labor. And I could see that if there was enough sense to negotiate salaries related to profits or some sort of a new law ---for instance the Mutual Aid Pact there would be some sort of semblance. (Before President Carter deregulated the airline industry in 1978, the Mutual Aid Pact reimbursed grounded airlines hit by a strike with the funds acquired by passengers flying the remaining airlines to allow the affected airline the chance to rebound from a strike with new agreements while retaining employees). Eastern was the first one to get out of the Mutual Aid Pact because I wanted a relationship to preclude ever having a strike. But I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I think it's going to be a roller coaster of a boom-and-bust.
___
MM: How do we fix the Air Traffic Control System from top-to-bottom?
___
Borman: I think the problem is not so much electronics, it's the airports. I agree with Herb Kelleher (Chairman of Southwest Airlines). "Runways, runways, runways. It's the airports, stupid!" And I think that's Boeing's plan about utilizing GPS more effectively. This makes a lot of sense. But that doesn't make a bit of difference if you've got airlines at LaGuardia (in New York) scheduling 90 airplanes out in a 60-minute period. I took off one time at LaGuardia. We were number 24 in line. It's crazy.
___
MM: The merger deal between United and US Airways (in 2000) failed. The Business Travel Coalition came out with the statement that the competitive structure of the U.S, Aviation industry would be "inalterably changed for the worse, putting airline deregulation at risk if this merger were allowed to take place".
___
Borman: I agree with them. I don't think that should have been allowed to take place. I think that the big ones are too big for the market. I would not have even allowed American to take over TWA. I think that you really simply have to say, "Okay this is too many and too much". In the airline business, the economy of scale allows you to control markets. Because if you had fifty airplanes or one airplane, they're not more efficient. In other words, you may be able to schedule crews a little better and so on as you get bigger, but there's also a point where you get too big.
___
MM: American and British Airways want to merge in the worst way (this remains true today).
___
Borman: I wouldn't allow that either.
___
MM: You feel that re-regulation is not the answer?
___
Borman: No.
___
MM: But hasn't deregulation failed?
___
Borman: The basic problem in my estimation has been the lack of people's ability to enter the market. And now that the other carriers are so big, I mean, face it...except for the threat of government action, Delta (now in Chapter 11 bankruptcy) could squash AirTran. And they may be able still to control their growth so that AirTran doesn't have much of a future. The last thing in the world that I would do is to invest in a start-up airline. Forget it.
___
MM: If you look back at your career path from the military academy to the airline industry to private enterprise today, what are your proudest achievements within each area?
___
Borman: I think the proudest achievement while I was at NASA was that I played a role in helping us beat the Soviets to the Moon. That was very important. We had a mission there, and everything was oriented to doing the mission. It was a wonderful place to be because we had talented people. We had Chris Kraft (NASA's Director of Flight Operations), (Dr. Werner) von Braun [acknowledged 'Father of Space Travel'], (Robert) Gilruth (Director of the Manned Spacecraft Center), who were talented and completely oriented to this. At Eastern (Air Lines) I was really proud of the fact that we were able to resurrect what was a dying airline and make a go of it. It was a severe disappointment when we had to sell out. But I still think that we gave it the very best that we could, and I'm arrogant enough to think that nobody, no management team could have done any better. And since then, I've just been a happy grandfather.
___
MM: Do you miss the airline industry at all?
___
Borman: No, I've never looked back. When I left the Air Force for NASA, I loved the Air Force. I still love the Air Force. But I don't think you can keep one foot on the beach and one on the boat. You either get on the boat or stay on the beach. So, when I left for NASA, I stayed with NASA. I've only been back for one launch since I left NASA. And with the airline industry, when I left, I left. God Bless Them. I think it's an exciting industry with wonderful people. But it's operating under archaic laws and the playing field isn't balanced.
___
Note: I deliberately edited what was originally a 90-minute interview followed by a walk around visit with Colonel Borman of his personal airplane hangar, desktop model collection and later an informal visit over hamburgers. Frank is today 79 and still very engaged in his various businesses. He waves off the "stardom" of having appeared on magazine covers even his being nominated as a Congressional candidate (which he declined). Frank remains one of the most "down to earth" personalities I've had the privilege of meeting and I thoroughly enjoyed our visit.
___
Aftermath: Since my interview, US Airways defied the critics and managed to survive by merging with America West; TWA met a truly tragic end after it was acquired by American Airlines. Despite many public promises to retain what remained of TWA's 26,500 employees, 87% of the TWA employees were permanently fired and most of what American bought from TWA it liquidated. In fact, only 500 former TWA pilots are flying with American Airlines today! Quite an embarrassing debacle! This purchase was a knee-jerk reaction by American to the then-proposed merger of United Airlines with US Airways that would have made United the largest airline in the world. Unwilling to accept this, American became the only suitor willing to salvage a crippled TWA on the condition that TWA first file a Chapter 11 bankruptcy. This allowed AA to "cherry-pick" only the assets that it wanted from Trans World Airlines. The Department of Justice denied the United/US Airways merger on anti-trust grounds. So, American was stuck with what now appeared to be the most ridiculous waste of money ever. American's plan to develop TWA's hub at St. Louis International Airport into a Mid-West hub was another embrassment. In the aftermath of 9/11, American disposed of TWA's fleet of 29 aging DC-9's and all even some of the much-newer Boeing 757's and 767's. All of the MD-80's were retained. No improvements to St. Louis International Airport was ever undertaken. In fact, Terminal D today sits totally abandoned.
___
TWA's demise began in 1983 when TWA Corporation spun off the airline operations from the Westin Hotel chain, Hertz Rental Car Corporation and even a gaming machine company. Left vulnerable and weak, in 1985 (with the beginning of terrorism in the USA) TWA became involved in a brutal bidding war between two notorious corporate raiders: Frank Lorenzo and Carl Icahn. When Icahn won control of TWA, it's "Crown Jewel" routes to England and many other International destinations were sold off for cash as quickly as Icahn possibly could to recoup twice his original investment. Unfortunately, none of the proceeds were reinvested into TWA. To make matters worse, Icahn took TWA private, thereby making it impossible for TWA to ever turn a profit. By 1992, Icahn placed TWA in Chapter 11 bankruptcy and resigned in 1993. TWA emerged from it's first visit to Chapter 11 financially weaker and corporate strife followed. This, among other factors led to a second (pre-packaged Chapter 11 filing in 1995) I interviewed a beleagured Jeff Erickson, then-TWA's CEO on both occasions. Soon after my second in-person interview Erickson was ousted by TWA's board of directors.
___
Prior to American Arlines entering the picture, TWA finally gained a very competent CEO named Joe Compton. Compton started as a pilot with the company in 1968, became president of its pilot union and later became a member of TWA's board of directors. Under Compton's leadership, TWA which now had the oldest fleet in America began to order new planes. The employees rallied time and again to save the company and eventually TWA became "the best airline in America" in 2000, garnering the prestigious J.D. Powers Award for service excellence as a favorite among business travelers. As time went on, it became clear to TWA's management that with it's International Route System stripped to little more than a handful of destinations, and financially weak after the explosion of TWA Flight 800 over New York (still unsolved), it required a merger partner. None was forthcoming, despite a flirtatious negotiation with Russia-based Trans Aero. A merger with American Airlines seemed to offer some light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. But it was not to be. Conditions in the post 9/11 world simply made the merger a nightmare for AMR, American's parent organization.
___
Donald Carty, American Airline's CEO was forced to resign in disgrace after it was revealed publicly that he had secretly approved generous bonuses for AA's top executives while forcing AA employees to surrender massive pay cuts. While the TWA absorption made AA the world's largest carrier, the merger was a disaster for both companies. This lends significant credence to Colonel Borman's views on mergers in today's disastrous deregulated airline industry environment.
With the recent birthday of Sir Paul McCartney, I felt this would be a good time to choose a special film I had on my Movie List! Released back in 1970, this is a documentary showing both how the Beatles made music together, and the dynamics behind their split up. Hundreds of hours of raw footage were cut down into the making of their "next to last" album (the last one was actually "Abbey Road" and you'll see and hear "The Boys" reheasing some of the music that made it onto "Abbey Road"). I watched this recently with an ex-girlfriend of mine and I told her that the tension between "The Fab Four" was undeniable. George Harrison's argument with PaulMcCartneyis unfortunately caught on film.(It wasn't a "blow up" but it did make me uncomfortable). Harrison, sufficiently angered, leaves the session and goes home. Pauls' perspective and hopes throughout the film was for the band to return to live performing. A prospect that John so obviouly detested and it is quite plain to the viewer that he was cold to the whole idea. There were days when Ringo and George alternately would phone the studio and advise producer George Martin that they would not be in. While Yoko Ono was ever-present (and blamed for years for the band's breakup) an argument could be made that it really wasn't so much her presence as John's clash with Paul's bubbly enthusiasm and the sense one feels (as John did), that Paul was "taking over" the sessions that was behind the group disbanding. Touring was also a prospect that sat poorly with George Harrison after the 1966 Candlestick Park performance in San Francisco that understandably was iritating to him. That was the final concert The Beatles played in the U.S. and who could blame them? To George, that concert was more of a commercialized nightmare than a true musical performance. In fact, my oldest brother caught The Beatles 1964 swing through Cincinnati at the now razed Crosley Field. He told me the audience was screaming so loud that they actually drowned out the crude P.A. system. So, the set was virtually inaudible.
_____
The tensions in "Let It Be" were also felt "behind the scenes". Filming began at England's Twickenham Studios the first week of January 1969; a rehearsal area was set up on a soundstage, and the band was expected to arrive at around 8 A.M. to meet the shooting schedule. After several days freezing on the barely-heated, cavernous set, and hating the early-morning hours, the location was changed to the Beatles' own "new recording studio", set up in the basement at Apple. The Beatles arrived there in the second week only to discover a largely empty room, featuring none of the technical innovations promised them, or even normal studio features, such as a patch-bay or an intercom system. I know if it were me, I'd be mightily pissed! Recording equipment had to be rented, cables run under the door, and the building's central heating (also located in the basement) had to be shut off while they worked! If this wasn't enough of an annoyance, the new location proved as cramped as the first location had been overlarge, with band, recording crew, camera crew, Yoko Ono and the late Linda McCartney all together in the same room! Gads! When tensions are thick enough to be cut with a knife, being cramped together in a small room is just over-the edge!
_____
The decision to release "Let It Be" was purely a financial one; Apple's accountants assured the band that, with so much money spent on the project, they couldn't afford to simply bury the results, much as the Beatles wanted to. A movie release would recoup the expenses more effectively than the planned television special. So it was turned into a movie. But trouble continued. George Martin and the independent producer Glyn Johns prepared mixes of the soundtrack album, neither of which satisfied anyone. By now, totally fed up, Martin quit working with the band, when criticisms started turning personal. But he returned to make "Abbey Road" after the Beatles promised to work with him "like in the old days", with Martin calling the shots in the studio. One could easily see this was the best solution to the old "Too many Chiefs" issue delaying the project. A second remix by Johns was also rejected, and with Martin finally walked out! So, Phil Spector was brought in to replace Martin and to complete the soundtrack.
_____
In many respects, this was a sad movie detailing the internal turmoil each band member was plainly feeling. But the gems far outweigh the heavy-laden break-up of the band. Ringo Starr, for the most part remains the silent but intelligent observer who goodnaturedly goes along with whatever is called for. Some bright spots are Paul and John's acoustic performance of "Two of Us". George gets a rare chance to sing lead on "For You Blue". Billy Preston, who sadly passed away more than a week ago, sat in as keyboardist with the band and we see him trying hard to inject some enthusiasm to diffuse the baggage of bitterness, personal and creative differences that by this point in time simply overwhelmed any chance of the band reconciling. Other high points include: "The Long and Wnding Road", and the title track "Let It Be". The January, 1969 impromptu performance of the band on the roof of the Apple Record Building during the mid-afternoon business day was a grand surprise to those on the sidewalk and in adjacent office buildings. This was, indeed, their final performance together. English Bobbies were called out to break up the performance during "Get Back"--a controversial point for Yoko Ono who claimed during a much later interview in New York that she interpreted Paul as indicting her during the performance by looking directly at her during the Chorus. This was featured in a Playboy Magazine interview wherein John interrupted and said "No, Yoko it wasn't like that". She replied that it was. John was being very kind in letting the issue drop, This film is a piece of Rock and Roll history and we become as viewers, the proverbial "fly on the wall". But overall this film is quite a joy and very insightful for millions of Beatle fans worldwide! I hope you truly enjoy it! Directed by: Michael Lindsay-Hogg;Winner of The Oscar Award, Best Music, Original Sound Score (Quincy Jones accepted the Award for The Beatles). Winner of the Grammy Award,Best Original Score Written for a Motion Picture or TV Special.
####
Happy Belated Birthday to Sir Paul McCartney and God Bless the late Billy Preston!
IF YOU ARE A NEWCOMER TO MY SITE, WELCOME! I'M POSTING THIS A FEW HOURS EARLY FROM DOWNTOWN CHICAGO WHERE I'M TOLD THERE IS ONLY ONE 24-HOUR KINKOS OPEN. AS IS CUSTOMARY FOR "THE INTERVIEW", THIS POST WILL REMAIN UP UNTIL 12:01 AM THURSDAY. ENJOY!
___
Joining me today is a man with 21 years of experience in Comedy and his name is ANDY MARTELLO! Let me tell you just a little bit about Andy. He’s a Comedian who does stand-up, swallows fire, juggles bowling balls and spins plates. He’s a Featured Entertainer at State Fairs, Corporate Events, and Schools. Most recently, I wrote a Blog and included his plate spinning game that is so popular, I’m going to post it here again. But, first things first. Andy graduated from The Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Clown College.
__________
I first heard about Andy last March while visiting Bud and Cathy Buckley. They had met Andy in his home town of Chicago after Bud Linked Andy to his website. Bud, if you’ll recall is also a very recent Guest here on THE INTERVIEW. I was so captivated by how funny this guy sounded that I made a note in my Calendar Book to check out Andy Martello’s website. After contacting Andy, I discovered we had some things in common. We both love Comedy and Music. We are huge fans of Grand Funk Railroad. We have both trained in Improvisational Comedy, although I appeared in Columbus, Ohio with an ensemble cast and Andy does stand-up which is far more difficult. Plus we enjoy helping others who have far too much “reality” in their lives take time out to decompress. Well, okay! What better way to do this than to relax and laugh (both can be done at once). So, without further adieu I asked Andy to be my Guest.
___
MM: Andy, welcome to my Blogsite. I guess if I were Alice Cooper I’d be welcoming you to my nightmare. But even Pat Boone is quoted as saying, “Hey, Alice has been through some changes lately”. Let’s start off with what you’ve been up to?
_______
_
AM: Thanks for having me, Michael. It's always nice to be had. My website is way overdue for some updates. I'm glad you read it though. Aside from being a comedian/juggler, I am also a humor writer hoping to develop a career as both an author & a "spoken word" artist. More like Henry Rollins than Spaulding Gray, but that sort of thing. Funny you mention Alice Cooper and Pat Boone.
________
MM: Yeah, I did a recent Blog on his spoof CD “In a Metal Kind of Mood” because I thought it was funny.
________
AM: Well, as for what I'm up to, my standard answer is that I'm working hard so one day I won't have to work so hard. In reality, much of my time is spent trying to get more work. Most people think the entertaining is the performer's job. In actuality, my job is to get more work. The performance is the fun part. Unlike most people who go to work one day and know there's that same job waiting for them the next day, I'm unemployed as soon as my show is over. I'm also trying to find the time, the drive, and whatever else I need to get a book published. I do a fair amount of writing aside from my Blog posts, including internet magazines, humor columns, stories from my showbiz past, opinion pieces, and so on. Ideally I'd like to find myself being a well-known author and performance artist. Doing the Henry Rollins thing would be just fine with me. That way I could be on stage, be funny & entertaining, sell CDs and books, and not have to eat any fire or juggle anything if I didn't want to.
________
MM: You attended the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Clown College and I’m assuming that’s in Sarasota where I recently visited. That had to be hard work. What was that experience like for you as you look back?
________
AM: The Clown College was actually in Venice, Florida, right next to Sarasota. That is where the show's winter quarters are. I have mixed opinions of my time at Ringling. At the time I thought I was it was the coolest thing that could ever happen to me. I looked at it as some sort of crowning achievement that I'd made it in the world of comedy and professional entertainment. I also felt as though it would be a big help in furthering my career. These days I look at it as something I did when I was 18 years old. I never wanted to be a circus clown. I wanted to learn a lot of valuable entertainment skills in a short amount of time. Being a clown was a necessary evil and part of the deal if I chose Ringling. It was hard work. 14 hour days, six days a week, much of it in clown make-up and with bruises left and right across my body. Classes included juggling, mime, stilt-walking, unicycle-riding, slaps & falls, gag writing, costume & prop construction, acrobatics, improvisation, pyrotechnics, and public relations training. One class had us shooting our friends with a shot gun, but that may have not been for the circus. I'm thinking I was being trained as an assassin for the government. I don't remember everything. I just know I get all weird whenever anyone asks me to play a nice game of Solitaire.
___
MM:As you know, I featured your plate spinning game on my Website and Denny Shane, another recent Guest on THE INTERVIEW complained that he sprained his finger. Denny Shane is a recently retired Judge. I feared a “frivolous lawsuit”!
___
AM: I've been to Denny's Blog a few times. I'm not all convinced his sprained finger was a result of the Plate Spinning Game on my website. Anyone that has spent that much time in "his quarters" while wearing a dark robe can't blame all of his painful hand issues on a computer game. I mean, the computer had something to do with it, but my game can't be the only reason a guy hurts his hand. Good lord, he's gonna sue the ever-living crap out of me isn't he? I like Denny's Blog, though. He's a great man, a true American hero. He saved my life in the war, you know. I'm pretty sure he's found the cure for cancer. I know he kicked Polio in the ass. I guess what I'm saying is that he could have hurt his finger playing "Minesweeper". What's that sound? Oh yeah, that's the sound of me back-peddling.
___
MM: (Giggling maniacally) Oh, God. Let me recover here! You live in Chicago and of course my lusty Top 100 Crushes include Actress Veronica Hamil who played attorney Joyce Davenport on the TV series “Hill Street Blues” (Stephen Bochco, the producer, THANK YOU!). Now I’m mentioning this to segue into your “Dazzling Diabolo Act”. That used to be the name of one of the street gangs in “Hill Street Blues”. How cool is that?
___
AM: Man, did you hurt your back having to stretch so far to make that connection?
___
MM: I try to make it look easy.
___
AM: Was that street gang “The Dazzling Diabolos” or“The Diablos”?
___
MM: No, no. Just “The Diablos”. Why do you ask?
___
AM: Because if they were “The Dazzling Diabolos” I doubt I'd be all that afraid of them. Sounds too much like a bitter group of Broadway chorus dancers or something. As for Veronica Hamil, she's lovely and I hear she's already filed the restraining order against you so be careful.
___
MM: Oh, dammit! Well, as Shakespeare once said in Macbeth, ‘What’s done is done’. I noticed that you used the actual real-life plate spinning act as “a great time management tool” for clients such as Boeing’s Leadership Center. As a part-time commercial aviation journalist, can I credityou, in part, for Boeing beating the crap out of Airbus in sales this year?
___
AM: Generally, I try to take credit for every good thing in the world, regardless of if I had any hand in the success. If I am associated in any part with the company doing so well, then all the better. So yeah, my plate spinning corporate training seminar is directly responsible for the greater Boeing sales performance. I've done the same thing (the plate training thing) for Coca-Cola, Waste Management, Harley Davidson, Bridgestone/Firestone and may others. So if you want your company to succeed, you'll give me a call and demand I start spinning some plates today! Enron & Arthur Anderson chose NOT to use my training skills and look what happened to them! Are YOU willing to take that kind of risk with your company?
___
MM: Bravo! Bravo!!! Listen, I’ve also taken note that your plates are provided by the M&M Events Company. Can you help me talk Fender into providing me with a certain amp I’ve been drooling over? Just asking.
___
AM: You've been on TV. Get yourself a big gig with some national TV exposure and be sure to "casually" say, "Fender amplifiers are the single best amplifiers in all the world. They go to eleven and beyond!" Be sure to mention the exact design you're keen on owning and I'm sure they'll find a way to get you your amp. I was fortunate enough to get my plates from M & M Events because a friend of mine that worked there and booked me regularly, saw me on the WGN Morning News spinning plates. Event companies like that one go through plates like mad and since M & M is about a mile down the road from me, it all worked out well. But you know what I'm really missing in life? A kick-ass Fender amplifier. Man alive, those amps are good. I swear, if I had just one song to play to save my life, I'd be playing it on a Fender amplifier. Why take the chance of sounding like crap by using anything else? MMMmmm...Fender amps.
___
MM: It’s the Hot Rod Deluxe 60 amp, Leo! Okay, juggling like everything I’ve seen on your most excellent website is an art. But how do you combine it with stand up?
___
AM: Well I'm not the greatest juggler in the world so I'm sure that helps. I used to be a pretty damn good juggler, but I know I've forgotten more tricks than I remember. I've always been something of a comedian who happened to juggle. In the earliest years I focused on every cool juggling trick I could think of. However I learned that folks seem to remember the guy who made them laugh more than the guy who could juggle 8 balls. I am not really a circus-style juggler so I have a lot of patter with the act. If you drop an object, which every juggler does, it is easy to make it seem a part of the act if you have a good cover-up line or a joke. It helps to make the audience laugh at the joke and not at the mistake. When they laugh at the mistake they decide you're not good at what you do. When they laugh at your material they decide you're a genius, being able to miss on purpose like that. Another reason I developed more of a comedy act is because the majority of the bookings I have demand at least 45 minutes worth of program. If I were a flashy circus-style juggler, I may have a maximum of 5 to 15 minutes of material. That works well if you manage to get booked on some Vegas shows or things like that, but those gigs are not as prevalent as the schools shows, the corporate events, and the park districts, which need more time. As an example, back when I had maybe 15 minutes of juggling and some hackneyed comedy to accompany it, I was booked at my local church along with a magician. I was going to do my 15 minutes and collect my $50.00 and watch the "professional" do his full-length show. For whatever reason the magician didn't show up and the Priest asked me if I could do an hour. Before I had the chance to explain I had a limited program he told me he'd pay me the magician's fee on top of my own. Being 15 years old and needing that extra $150.00 I remembered that I was a funny guy and could fill in the act with some off the cuff comedy. OK, I ended up doing some of the same tricks over & over within the show, but it was a good set, all told. Lesson LEARNED! Since then I have developed a wealth of comedy that can accent any show and work for any audience. The comedic patter helps not only pad the act, but it brings a more personal feel to the show. I work the crowd a lot and respond to audience reactions very well. That makes every show different and creates a personal attachment for the audience member. I'm an excellent comedic performer, if I'm allowed to say such a thing. I should be allowed to say that since I wholly admit I'm an average juggler at best. Either way, I like being funny, clever, & memorable on stage as opposed to amazing, shiny, and forgettable.
___
MM: Excuse me, Andy. I have to issue a disclaimer here. (I’m going to ask Andy about juggling bowling balls: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!). How did you decide to work this into your act?
___
AM: Well it isn't exactly groundbreaking stuff here. Jugglers have been juggling bowling balls, and their predecessors--cannon balls for as long as the items have been around. It is just a naturally spectacular presentation. I'd always done a routine with one ball and two bowling pins, which looks cooler to me, but I've always had requests for three bowling balls. I was just fortunate enough to be dating a girl at the time whose parents owned, and were selling a bowling alley. They let me raid the place and find three bowling balls and other props that I could use and let me have them free and clear. I don't perform the bowling balls much these days as I need to repair the rack that holds the bowling balls on stage. My bowling ball juggling is quick and applause-worthy, but the reason I have this special rack is so I can do the even more visually stimulating finish to the act - I balance all three bowling balls on my head. Until I fix the rack I keep that trick out because to me, the juggling of the bowling balls isn't as interesting or different to me without the big finish.
___
MM: You mention on your most excellent website that you have a 45 minute act that involves the art of fire eating. Isn’t this getting a little dangerous here?
___
AM: Well not dangerous for the audience, but probably dangerous for me. But I've got to pay the rent, ya know? For the record, the act itself is 45-minutes and the fire eating is only about 5 to 10 minutes of that act. Actually, fire-eating is not the most dangerous or even the most difficult thing I do in my show. Let's not blur the issue, there is always a chance for serious injury or death, but if done right it is very safe for me. However, since the idea is to put a lit object into my mouth, something that most sane people don't ever do, it appears to be of paramount danger. I make a big comedy routine surrounding the act to get the laughs and to provide more of a release for the audience. The clapping when the tricks are performed properly is expected, but they don't really get that nervous energy out of them until I provide the reasons to laugh along the way.
___
MM: Chicago—ah a great city so I’m told, even though I froze my arse off there in April. I learned there are Bulgarian Taxi Drivers there! So if intelligent minds don’t hire me soon, maybe I should apply to the Yellow Cab Company and surprise some of my comrades with my driving skills! How did you land in Chicago and what do you love about it?
___
AM: I'd head to Vegas to be a cab driver. Cab fares are outrageous there and the tips are better. Plus, Vegas is one of the last places I can think of where the majority of the cabbies are English-speaking, regular Joes. You'd like it there much better. Being a cabbie in Chicago is just not as much fun, or so I've been told.
___
MM: Either way, my requirements are a bulletproof glass partition. I feel every cab driver in America should strike until the cab companies install the partitions and stop making them pay to “lease” their cabs. Sorry. I had to jamb that in. You do have some connection to Ohio, right?
___
AM: I am the only member of my immediate family that has never lived in Ohio. Even though I've traveled extensively, I was born in Illinois (near Chicago), grew up in Illinois (near Rockford), and currently reside closer to Chicago. When I started taking entertainment bookings back when I was 15 it was obvious to me that the pickings were slimmer in the Rockford area and more plentiful, if not a little higher paying, in Chicago. Chicago also has a very active arts community and the prospects of getting shows produced and finding a stage to perform on are better there than anywhere else. It is hard to get famous here but you can make a living here if you work at it hard enough. I LOVE Chicago and the surrounding suburbs for many reasons. I suppose the things that I always think of are the food, the architecture, and the people. We have the best food here, from pizza & hot dogs, to high end cuisine. Because of the amount of traveling I do I am familiar with the local delicacies from all over the place, but I'll always stack up any of the Chicago dishes against anything I've encountered. I have my favorite foods from around the country, but many of my most favorite treats can be found in the Chicago area. I really love big cities and rural areas. In the Chicago area, I'm minutes away from either landscape and no matter where I go, the people are just friendlier and accommodating than many other places I've been. If you're an architecture fan, you simply can't go wrong with a trip to Chicago. We've got world class zoos and museums as well as tiny little places nobody would think of anywhere else. There's culture, beauty, manufacturing, industry, commerce, retail, & tourism in the greater Chicago Land area that beats the tar out of most anywhere else. Plus, we have several Minor League and independent baseball teams here and I absolutely love going to those games instead of the Cubs or Sox games. If I had any sense or anywhere near the drive I had as a younger man, I'd head out to L.A. for the fame & fortune thing. It is just so damned hard to leave here "permanently". I love this area so much I can't imagine being anywhere else.
___
MM: Okay, I’m about to bring up a hilarious song written by Richard Berry and performed The Kingsmen: “Louie, Louie”. And frankly I know even 20 year olds reading this are already giggling. Mothers on the street I grew up on banned their kids from buying this 45 RPM record. I can’t tell you how many hours we wasted mesmerized around someone’s portable record player (No, not a “Close and Play”! See what I put up with, Andy?) And I will tell you this. We just knew that they used F-word! I’m telling you we spent more time than the Congressional investigation did in Washington. But what a great party song or jukebox jingle to whip out when an audience looks bored. Let’s hear your take since you own more than one version!
___
AM: Well I currently have between 300-600 versions. I recently came into a massive cache of Louies, thanks to Eric at LouieLouie.net, so I do not have an exact count for you. Let's get a few things straight here, Mister. Richard Berry wrote and recorded the original Louie Louie. The Kingsmen merely recorded the most famous version of the song several years later. Neither Richard's nor the Kingmen's recordings are dirty. The lyrics are sweet and harmless in every possible way and are easily accessible on the internet if anyone really wants to know the truth. However, most folks don't want to know the truth. It's a little like Penn & Teller's view on exposing magic tricks. The secrets to damn near every illusion known to man are readily available at your local library, but do most people go out to check out the book? No. They choose to believe that David Blaine can levitate and Chris Angel is going around cutting women in half in parks and letting torsos run around everywhere. It is just more fun to believe that Louie Louie is obscene. On The Kingsmen version there is one accidental use of "the F-Word" and you can hear it early on when the drummer kind of screws up the beat. It is as inaudible as anything else on that recording, Oddly enough, so many people have been unnaturally fascinated with the lyrics of the song, which contain no profanity, no one has even made mention of the actual, singular and brief swear word found on that record. I am no fan of the F.C.C., but if they ever wanted to make a gazillion dollars they should just go after every station that has ever played The Kingmen’s recording of Louie Louie. The F-word is there, and has been in every playing of the song since the 60's. Ike & Tina Turner recorded a version that, while not filthy, was certainly suggestive and a bit tawdry at the time. There are many others that have dirty lyrics, but the original as well as The Kingmen's versions are for all intents and purposes, safe for the listener. There are a few songs in the world that can always inspire a group of people to get up and dance. Louie Louie, when played in its most traditional and simple of interpretations, is one of those songs. It is a silly, stupid song that has lived a thousand lifetimes thanks to the controversy surrounding The Kingmen recording. Had some moronic puritanical fool in Indiana or wherever not complained to the radio station that he heard dirty lyrics in that version of the song, we'd not be talking about it and there'd be no reason for me or anyone else out there to actually collect different versions of the song. Well, there's no real reason for me to do it anyway. I'm just funny that way.
___
MM: Okay, let’s talk Orson Welles. I am a huge Orson Welles fan. His first love was being a Comedian who performed magic tricks. Did you know this about Welles’ passion?
___
AM: Oh sure, Orson Welles was quite a guy. I saw David Copperfield some years back (Remember those psychotic girls I mentioned? One of those wanted to see HIM. EWW!)
___
MM: Yeah, well wasn't he dating Claudia Schiffer at one point? Oh, well. Never mind.
___
AM: Anyway he had some great old footage of Welles performing a magic trick, which Copperfield integrated into the show. The segment was recorded specifically to be a trick that can be played with him on screen and a person watching being fooled by Welles. He was ahead of his time in every aspect of his career.
___
MM:He really was and it was so sad to me how such a genius had to go through so much hell to get films made. And then you had the guys who just wanted to be seen lunching with him, while he was manipulated into thinking they were considering backing him. But I was also leading up to the point that he smoked cigars as you do, so I assumed there might be a neural connection there?
___
AM: I'd say that the similarities between me and Orson Welles do involve cigars but not much else. First off, I'm still alive. Big difference. Though I too view myself as something of a misunderstood & underappreciated genius. What entertainer doesn't? But still, Welles beats me out because he at least got to taste success and enjoy a relatively good career. Nobody knows who the hell I am and likely never will. DAMN YOU, ORSON WELLES!
___
MM:(Laughing) Since we have some comedic acting in common, I wondered if your wife ever worries about you displacing Tom Cruise if for no other reason than the fact that you have talent?
___
AM: I have even fewer similarities to Tom Cruise. Of course, I'm very happy about that and so is my wife. She finds him to be creepy, unattractive, and even more creepy after that.
___
MM: I would agree with your wife!
___
AM: He's actually a talented guy. I've seen films of his I liked, and you have to admit, to be able to get women like Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman, & Katie Holmes to marry you must require some talent. They can't all have been insane or desperate right? My wife wants the best for me and I know that if I could ever find a way to get on TV or in films, be famous, whatever, she'd be proud of me and supportive of me. She has a lot to deal with, being married to me. I'm a rather stereotypical entertainer as I am plagued with insecurities, self doubt, and crippling depression about myself and my career. I'm cynical, outspoken, an occasional pompous ass, and I have a need to be in front of people. When I'm not working I'm depressed. If I'm not at the higher level of success I get envious of those that are and upset that I haven't done the same. During the dry spells I'm a mess. During the busy times I can get short-tempered from being so tired. It cannot be easy to be around a guy like me and I give her all the credit for continuing to support me and my life choices. Although I am certain she's only in it because if I get famous, there's a better chance I will meet Joe Elliot, Joe Perry, Lucy Lawless, and any member of the Buffy/Angel/Firefly casts and introduce them to her. I think she wants free stuff or at the very least, better tickets to shows.
___
MM: Excuse me, Andy. (Screaming) "I LOVE YOU, BROOKE SHIELDS!"
___
AM: Was that a question? Is this interview just a way to woo Brooke Shields and Veronica Hamil? You're in the media. Arrange interviews with them. I mean, they are probably available for an interview these days. By the way, kudos to you for figuring out that the power of the Internet can be used to gain favor with hot ladies. Good luck with that.
___
MM: Thanks, I could use a little luck. No, I was referencing the Cruise melt down on that infamous "Oprah" TV appearance where he jumps up and down on the couch, then later trashed Brooke Shields during the interview/confrontation with Matt Lauer . He was so out of line. To me, Brooke personifies Class. Who the hell is he telling her that anti-depressants are wrong? Sorry, that is just such a low blow.
___
AM: I like Brooke Shields too. She’s tall and I love tall women.
___
MM: God! So do I!!
___
AM: I think Hamil is tall as well. At least in my mind she is tall.
___
MM:My brother asked me if she wed actor Daniel J. Travanti? I wasn't sure. But I thought she’s still single. But that could be denial on my part. A great Actress. And very involved in Philanthropy. Go ahead.
___
AM: They're both brunettes and that's always good. You know what I like about tall, brunette women?
___
MM: Why do I suddenly feel like Captain Kangaroo standing next to Bunny Rabbit?
___
AM: Making love to them on top of a brand new Fender amplifier.
___
MM:Ping pong balls are falling from the ceiling! Look up!
___
AM: (Unfazed) Not only does Fender create the optimal sound quality of any rock amplifier, but those things are sturdy!
___
MM:Look, Bud Buckley is a terrific guitar player and Taylor didn’t lend him a guitar. What? Fender is going to give me a Hot Rod Deluxe 60 watt amp with casters because I can play power chords? (…Did I sound humble?) Nah! I’m telling you they won’t do it. Hey, I have a groovy idea, Andy! Tell us about working with Phil Collins on his 1994 World Tour and Mark Farner, the former guitarist and co-founder of Grand Funk Railroad?
___
AM: Actually, of the celebrities I've worked with, Phil Collins and Mark Farner have the least interesting stories I can share.
___
MM: Please. Humor me.
___
AM: Sure. I was fortunate enough to have a supporting performance with Phil Collins, but I'm sorry to say I don't have any fascinating stories about him. I wasn't traveling with him or anything like that. I was working an event for Sears at their headquarters and since they were sponsoring his tour that year he was also working that same event. I juggled. He came out and sang three songs. He left. I finished working my shift. It was quite fun though since he was something of a surprise to all in attendance and I was expected to be there. "The juggler? Sure, he’s gonna be there. Phil who? "NO WAY!" I actually had a brief encounter with Mark Farner at a summer event in Carol Stream, IL, where I live. I was just pleased to have an event close to home and having Farner as the headliner was even better. I met him walking around the festival grounds. He had his guitar slung across his back like a backpack. When I met him I issued my standard question I ask to just about every celebrity I meet, "Anyone ever tell you look like (insert celebrity's name here)?"
___
MM: Oh, God no! Please tell me you didn’t…
___
AM: …He responded with the same thing every celebrity has ever said to me when asked that question, "Yeah. I get that a lot." He was very cool to take the time to check out the town and the festival. A lot of the headliners I've worked with don't give a damn about where they're playing. Farner even bought a painting from a local artist at the fest who made those celestial scenes by using spray paint cans and the lids from pots and pans. He dug the painting, got one made for him, paid cash and had a great little conversation with the artist. Not bad. At my Blog I have made written up some of the celebrity encounters I've had over the years. They're in two sets of posts called "Random Celebrity Photos" and "Random Celebrity Memories".
___
MM: Oh, now that’s a new one! Do tell!!
___
AM: The photos have not only the story, but some photographs to back up my recollection. The memories have no photos to back me up and I trust people believe me because the stories are honest and funny. Either way, people seem to enjoy hearing about some of the people I've worked with and I try to jot these memories down if there's something worth mentioning. Among the celebrities and famous groups I've worked with over the years in one way or another are Audrey Hepburn, Robert Altman, Gary U.S. Bonds, The Vogues, Blues Traveler, Malcolm MacDowell, Koko Taylor, & Buddy Guy, among others.
___
MM:Wow! Buddy Guy! That is totally cool. You’ve also performed for the elder President Bush and Congress. Did the thought ever cross your mind that “Geez! Here I am in Washington in front of Congress!! Be careful what you ask for?”
___
AM: Now that gig was quite cool, even though I didn't vote for the guy. I was fresh out of Clown College and I got a call from the Ringling folks wondering if I wanted to work an event in Washington for the President and Congress. Hell yeah! This was an annual dinner put on by the Washington Press Corp. sort of, "Thanks for letting us write awful things about you all year. Have some pie." This year the theme of the party was, "The Political Circus".
___
MM: How appropriate!
___
AM: Since the Ringling headquarters were also in D.C. it seemed only right that they provide the circus performers for the evening. I honestly cannot say that the President was there. He'd only recently been inaugurated and had taken ill and he was on the guest list. We did have to go through some security checks and the like, but I certainly didn't get to see the guy. However I did get to meet guys like John Glenn, Ted Kennedy, C. Everett Coop, and many other noteworthy figures. I had the best job of the night. I was at the top of the escalator, just after the area where guests arrived, and it was my job to direct everyone to the party. I knew the guest list before the press downstairs did. All of this was with me in clown makeup and I can only imagine what Ted Kennedy was thinking while talking to a clown at the hotel. I had the chance to meet some heavy hitters that night and I was getting paid to boot. Incidentally, all Mr. Kennedy said to me was, "Er, where's the bar?"
___
MM: No! I can’t even imagine…
___
AM: I swear on my life that's the truth. I loved that gig. Without it I'd have not had such a cool resume' listing and I'd not have the most excellent funny slogan for my promo years later, "Has performed for President George Bush (the original, NOT the sequel!)."
___
MM: Does a certain former Grand Imperial Wizard of the KKK who turned Senator—oh the hell with it. I was going to ask if a certain Senator struck you as belonging on “Star Trek the New Generation”? But I better not.
___
AM: I think C. Everett Coop belonged on Mount Rushmore after seeing the reverence and respect he commanded when walking into the room. The place just stopped and folks treated him like the President himself. It was most amazing to see that someone had earned & deserved such respect from a cynical world. He wouldn't have been good on Star Trek.
___
MM: Well, no. That’s not the guy I had in mind. But we won’t go there. He disgusts me.
___
AM: Can't speak for any of the other guests, Senators or otherwise.
___
MM: Excuse me (coughing) Do you really have a love affair with cigars?
___
AM: Is the cough fake? Because you know I hate the fake cough people use when someone is smoking in a public place or because you were nervous. I'd make some sort of sexual joke after hearing the question? If you want the joke I'll go for the easy one. I've never had a love affair with a cigar, but my friend Monica has. I do have a list of ten reasons why cigars are better than women, as well as one explaining why cigars are better than men on my website. I used to do an entire stand-up routine about cigar smoking. I occasionally bust out the cigar material at a club if I remember I have it in the arsenal or if I'm smoking a cigar at the time. I also have a list of comebacks for smokers to use when they are accosted by nonsmokers, and accosted is about the only word for their behavior. I have never smoked a single cigarette except for an acting role or something like that) and I've always been a respectful and courteous cigar smoker. I do enjoy smoking a good cigar, even though I don't smoke nearly as many these days as in days past. It is my firm belief that a good cigar is the one luxury that any civilized gentleman in the world truly deserves. Me and my family helped create a cigar smoking book/accessory a few years back called the Don Martello Cigar Smoker's Journal. Sold several to shops around the Midwest and I still sell a few off my website today.
___
MM: (impersonating Groucho Marx). “Say the magic word and I’ll give you a box of cigars”.
___
AM: Cigars are delightfully politically incorrect and a pleasure to enjoy. I'd take the worst cigar against the best cup of coffee any day of the week, and I've had some really awful cigars.
___
MM: So, can we assume you’ll be on the inaugural flight to Havana with an empty suitcase once Fidel keels over or the people demand a Democracy because dictatorships and people disappearing are rather synonymous?
___
AM: No. I've had plenty of Cuban cigars in my day (genuine Cuban cigars, not counterfeits). They're not all that hard to come by, embargo or no embargo. Heck, take a trip to Jamaica and pay the extra few bucks for a day trip to Cuba. You can tour the cigar factories, get the real thing, and bring many of them home with you if you remove the bands. Most people who go all crazy for the Cuban cigars are the once in a while smokers anyway. They've heard that they are the best and they go nuts trying to find one. In their minds, they're having the best and they want to be able to brag about it later. It's a little like yearning for a night of unbridled sex with Angelina Jolie, finally getting it, and finding out she's about as interesting to sleep with as a piece of balsa wood. You're still going to tell everyone you were with her and that it was amazing.
___
MM: Havana! I saw the Redford movie, “Havana”. Hey, did you ever have a Mob gig. No, wait! What was I thinking? Don’t answer that!
___
AM: No. You brought it up. That will be your undoing.Actually; the mob is a big part of my entertainment career. I've never been backed by some broken-nosed boss or anything like that. I actually do a lot of work in and around the Chicago area as a 1920's style Gangster for Speakeasy theme parties. Great gig. You dress up in a period costume, get all gangstered up and in character, and then get paid to mingle with the crowd as that character. Had I known I could make GOOD money doing this sort of this 20 years ago I might have a bank account and health insurance today. I do this for many theme parties as all sorts of characters and it is a riot. I also was in a History Channel documentary as a gangster awhile back. Bill Kurtis, the man, the voice, the legend, produces all sorts of these specials for A & E, The History Channel, PBS, and so on. In this case I was in "Investigating History: Taking Out Al Capone". A Most fun job, indeed. Bill Kurtis is great to work for and I spent the day drinking, smoking cigars, hitting on gals in flapper outfits, and so on. I had a scene where I tried to bribe a cop, a scene where I was at the table while Capone bloodied up and killed a guy with a baseball bat, and a scene where I had the tar beaten out of me in an alley. I was a bloody mess. Later, my dead body was dragged through a cold meat locker. How can I not enjoy a day like that? I've even done a gig as a kind of "Sylvio" (from "The Sopranos") kind of character. So gangsters are a part of my life, even if only in a fictional way.
___
MM:Let’s talk trash. I attended Bartending School but never used my skills. So naturally, my eye caught something you call “The Martello”. It reminded me of Donald Sutherland’s line in the original motion picture M*A*S*H when he tells Elliott Gould, “I don’t know your name stranger. But your face is familiar”.
__
AM:"The Martello" is a drink I created some time back. At least I believe I invented it. Lord knows there are only a few million drink recipes out there. Until someone proves to me otherwise, The Martello is mine! I call it the ultimate chick drink because it has all the makings of a typical chick drink, but is tasty & strong enough that any man can drink it and feel like he's still a card-carrying MAN! A great martini to make if you have a lot of ladies and only so much charm or conversation skills. Not that I would condone using alcohol to get a lady a little more in the mood. The recipe is in my website in the Cigars & Martinis section and even though I've tweaked it a bit over the years, the message is still the same. It is a good, strong, sweet & potent martini.
___
MM: You have a fascination with the cancelled TV series “Twin Peaks”. Tell us about this?
___
AM: I bet if Brooke Shields or Veronica Hamil were in the TV series "Twin Peaks" you'd have known all about it.
___
MM: You better believe it!
___
AM: When I was originally creating my website I wanted to have a whole section filled with links and oddities. This would be apart from the more professional, corporate performer side of me and would give folks a little idea of some of the things I enjoy. I also chose things based upon their "geek factor", which as far as I'm concerned, adds to the appeal of a website. I was a big fan of the short-lived and long gone David Lynch program, "Twin Peaks". Over the years, I've noticed that a rather large number of former TP actors have been cast together in movies or televisions shows since Peaks left the air. It had a big cast so it is certainly understandable, but with this show in particular it seemed that the pairings of former TP actors happened more so than with other casts. That show had such stellar actors in it, I like seeing my favorite actors getting work elsewhere.
___
MM: Me too! I love to see friends succeed and vice verse.
___
AM: Anyway, a little research provided me with "The Original Sin", a cosmic connection from Hollywood's past that would one day lead to all of the actors being cast in "Twin Peaks". The Original Sin? Casting Richard Beymer & Russ Tamblyn in the Academy Award-Winning film, "West Side Story". Those two actors were principle actors in "Twin Peaks" many years later and for the sake of making something silly and stupid fit the Internet (easy to do I'd say) I created The Twin Peaks Game.
___
MM: You’re killing me! THE TWIN PEAKS GAME!!! (Laughing)…
___
AM: All you do is familiarize yourself with the cast of the TV show and the film, "Fire Walk With Me" and then be your normal, pop-culture junkie self, and act all happy when you find TWO or more actors with a "Twin Peaks" connection acting in a different project. It is actually a fun party game if you're among equally geeky friends or drunk from mixing too many "Martellos". It may not be as commonplace as the Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon thing, but that game just sucks anyway. Like, I want to be that familiar with Kevin Bacon when I can be MORE familiar with the likes of Sherilyn Fenn. Please.
___
MM: So, why aren’t you on Conan O’brien? I can be very direct Andy.
___
AM: He hasn't asked. Is that direct enough for ya, Michael?
___
MM:Ah, so you’ve run into some inconsiderate people too? I know I have.
___
AM: OK, the real answer. I don't have any representation or a publicist to speak of.
___
MM:Or worse, having agents who have to ask you how to write a pitch letter because they’re terrified of the television medium but manage models and commercial actors with an iron fist!
___
AM: I get all my work, for better or for worse, because of the work I've done to promote myself. There really aren't any talent scouts looking for great acts for their shows any more. It is all casting directors who are either hoping you'll find them or agents with folks on the brink of greater success doing the work for them. When I auditioned for the first season of "Last Comic Standing" I had no illusions of getting on the show as they were looking for types of people more than types of acts. Some of the folks I'd been standing in line with had been working in the business professionally for up to 20 years, like me. If they were really looking for good talent they'd have found us by then. However, I went because I had the day to audition and if it worked out I could get some TV exposure. As it happened, footage from my audition was used on the first and last episode of the first season and I still got to put it on my resume without having to play stupid games, make fun of my Asian mother's speech problem, or share a bathroom with Ralphie May.
___
MM: You’ve got guts, I'll say that! National TV. Unless you're Jerry Springer, forget it.
___
AM: It isn't impossible to land a national TV spot without some sort of agent pushing you, but it is definitely much harder to do than most any other avenue of show business I've been able to work within. I know some folks who've gotten on the shows, but they don't seem to have any follow-up afterwards. I know one juggler who's been on Letterman four times and is always complaining that he can't make a living in this business. I know if I got on Letterman ONCE I'd damn well be making a better living than the one I am now. Hell, I'm already making a living at this. I want to go higher.AM: My website has helped bring me to a wider potential client base and maybe one day I'll get some notoriety for my act, or maybe my writing. Some years back I received a phone call from a Celia Converse who booked the "Is This Anything" segment for The "Late Show, Starring David Letterman". She told me that Dave wanted a plate spinner for the segment and there are precious few of us around so they gave me a call. I sent them some video and other materials but it never came to pass. It COULD have had something to do with 9/11 (the terrorist attacks occurred around the time of Andy’s opportunity). They did away with the silliness on that show for a bit. It could also have had something to do with the fact that they didn't like me. I'll never know because they don't ever return your calls if they don't want you.
___
MM: Yeah. Welcome to 'Corporate America’. The new fashion is not to return a person’s telephone call!
___
AM: I had a similar experience with "The Tonight Show". I had just finished doing a corporate show for an insurance company. They knew they were getting a comedian, but they had no idea they were getting a hybrid comedy/juggler/really funny/work the crowd/quit-witted comedy act. The show was one of my best performances ever. I have a joke in my show about wanting to be on Letterman or Leno and even made a comment to someone after the show that if they know anyone at "The Tonight Show", by all means tell them I'm a freaking genius.
___
MM: Great strategy on your part!
___
AM: When I got home that night (the gig was in Indiana) there was an e-mail from a Jolie Ancel, segment producer for "The Tonight Show". She told me about an e-mail or two she'd received from folks who saw my show and raved that I should be on the program. I responded to the e-mail, sent out my press materials, and never heard from them again. Either my video and press kit sucks or I do. I don't know.
___
MM: That’s my point. You’re left hanging and all the Agents are on vacation or it's hard to find one that wants to work. After all, they're only taking 10 percent and the Manager's get another 15 percent on top of that. So, you're national and big now and a 25 percent cut off the gross doesn't hurt. But getting there is like walking through molasses. I don't get this? It's like they exist under cover, and you have to know Donald Trump to find one who can easily connect you and pocket some good money at the same time!
___
AM: I do know that because of my website I wouldn't have even been asked to submit to these programs before so I suppose I'm being turned down by a better group of people these days. In fact, just this year I got turned down for a pilot in L.A. needing to fill the role of "The Plate Spinner". This was a star-filled comedy show with a prestigious casting company finding the talent. For awhile there it looked like a sure thing. The character needed to not only be able to act and be funny, but actually spin plates like on the old "Ed Sullivan Show". Mysteriously I didn't get cast as "The Plate Spinner". You know, maybe I need a real job.
___
MM:Andy, so much has been written about laughter releasing endorphins, cleaning away emotional toxicity and so forth. Have you had any occasions to perform for hospital patients…I’m thinking the elderly and children?
___
AM: Ah, when I think of hospitals I too think of the elderly and children. I'm sorry what was the question? Oh yes. I've done countless shows for hospitals, nursing homes, and the like. I even wrote a piece about one of the more memorable shows for a group of special needs kids called, "Good Show". I will have to send it to you or provide a link for your readers. These types of shows can be a challenge. Some entertainers don't even bother taking them because they can't bear witness to some of the conditions people are in. I've worked burn units at hospitals and been told not to make one patient laugh because the pain from laughing could cause him to pass out. I've worked nursing homes for Alzheimer's and dementia patients. Once I was told, "I've never seen her smile before". I've seen a lot of things and performed for all sorts of crowds. I believe my show can be made to fit any audience and since most of my shows are of the corporate and sensitive kind anyway, I'm already well prepared for the task. However being fast on my feet with jokes and other dialogue definitely helps me in these situations. Sure, I prefer a group with all their faculties and so on, but that's just selfish on my part as I want everyone to get the jokes and laugh more. However some of my best shows have been for groups of people who may not have even known I was there to a degree. If you connect with the people watching the program, that is sometimes a better reward than laughter. I've worked a juggling show for a deaf audience and had to stop the show because the sign language interpreter was laughing too much.
___
MM: That is funny.
___
AM: I made a big joke about how when the interpreter was laughing I could only assume that the audience thought I was hiccupping or something. That brought on even more laughter from the interpreter and that made the crowd enjoy the show even more. What was odd about that was that I had to do my show as always, but wait for the audience to catch up to the interpreter to get the jokes and then laugh. Even then I didn't always get applause and laughter. Deaf crowds sometimes wave their hands instead of applauding and laughing.
___
MM:We haven’t talked about your wife here. But how does a Comic meet the girl of his dreams? Or put another way, Andy. Should I begin taking lessons to capture Elizabeth Vargas, should she divorce?
___
AM: Not being a magician I've no idea how one would meet the girl of his dreams. Of course I can't tell you how a comedian/juggler/fire eater/plate spinner/writer meets the girl of his dreams either. I've never met the woman of my dreams. I met my wife. Not that my wife isn't amazing and knowing her isn't wonderful, but the girl of my dreams? Nightmares are dreams and I certainly have met & dated a lot of women who would fit that criteria of dream woman. But you don't mean that, do you? A phrase like, "the woman of your dreams" is some made up romance novel crap that just never happens. I've been a man for most of my life and I can honestly say that we men create some impossible women in our dreams.
___
MM: I couldn’t agree with you more. We men do that. Guilty as charged.
___
AM: NOBODY could ever meet the standards of woman set in our dreams. The "woman of my dreams" has Oprah's cash and wants to please me sexually more than any real woman ever could (or would now that I think of it). My dream woman is tall & short, blonde & brunette (but more often than not, redheaded), Asian, Irish, & Brazilian (but speaks with a British accent), intelligent & stupid all at the same time. Her body & face are perfect and differently so every time I see her and she never gains nor loses a pound without approval. She never cuts her hair without my knowledge and blessing and if her hair somehow does change she doesn't give a care if I notice. She never asks me what I'm thinking and she always waits until the commercial to ask me a question. She makes me my Martini & later holds my hair while I puke. After sex, there is always a sandwich and a cigar at the ready for me to enjoy. Once the sandwich has been eaten, more sex, sandwiches, & cigars. She changes the oil in her car, tells me when to turn left long before the street arrives, laughs at my jokes, finds all other men to be completely unattractive, has enough spending cash & health insurance to last me a thousand lifetimes. Oh yeah, she's also a high-powered Hollywood agent and an equally powerful publishing agent and her every desire (outside of my petty sexual needs) is to make sure that everyone in the world has copies of my books, CDs, DVDs, and tickets to my next live show.
___
MM: I get it. Good point for the men in my audience. Gee, anything else?
___
AM: She also does all of the above things while standing upon a brand new Fender amplifier, the single greatest amplifier in music history!
___
MM:I’ll never live that down! Okay, let’s have some reality! Tell us about the girl you fell in love with?
___
AM: My wife? She isn't rich. She is, however, the woman I chose to spend the rest of my life with because she met and exceeded all of my real life needs and expectations for happiness. She's extremely beautiful which is a bonus I imagine. Every one of my male friends all lined up to get her attention and some of them still are, probably, waiting our marriage out. I just let everyone else make idiots of themselves and held back, allowing my humor & the fact that I wasn't trying so damned hard to get with her to make me look much better than the other guys. I was the last man standing and sometimes that's what you need to be in cases like this one. She's about as perfect for me as anyone. I'm not a perfect husband and she's not a perfect wife. We're good together and good for each other and that's a whole lot more than I can say for most couples I know. She makes me laugh. That's extremely important to a guy like me because most people, including other performers, don't make me laugh. She also puts up with me.
___
MM:I’ll let you sum up your appearance here today. The floor is yours!
___
AM: Good Lord, I talk too much. Sum up my appearance here? I hope this was entertaining and informative. I'd like to think this was decidedly different from any other interview I've ever done, which I believe to be true. Because of the informal nature of this piece I hope I was able to give people a better idea of what I do and the types of performances & writings I offer. It is easy to get pigeon-holed in this business and nobody seems to know what to do with a comedian who happens to juggle (and eat fire, and spin plates, and write humor columns...), and can work corporate & church events as well as night clubs and seedy bars. I'm even more hopeful that anyone reading this and liking what they've read would try to book me in their town or recommend me to their local theatres, comedy clubs, and whoever is planning their company picnics or holiday parties. I would LOVE to see some agent or publisher take a look at this interview. Until then I hope to see some new visitors at my BLOG as well as my main website, which is in dire need of some updates right now (Too broke to update the thing. I need more work!) But really, I'm happy to have been asked to be a part of this series of interviews for you, even if you were just using this piece to meet Brooke Shields, Veronica Hamil or Elizabeth Vargas!
___
MM:With God’s help, I may call you one day and your Caller ID may have one of these last names and even some I have left out. Like “Love-Hewitt” or “Aniston”. And when you are ready I have the worlds greatest Webmaster in Jason Buckley to help you. Andy Martello’s Official Website is on my Blogroll boys and girls! And God only knows in times such as these we could all use some humor. Stop by and say hello to Andy. A great guy! Ciao for now!
This week we move to a grim drama based on the true story former prison administrator ThomasMurton to reform Tucker and Cummins Prison Farms in Arkansas in 1967-68. Robert Redford stars as Henry Brubaker, a street-smart, socially conscionable warden who is recruited to reform a filthy, run down Southern prison notorious for unspeakable corruption and violence that has deeper political implications. Redford was on a tight schedule for this film after wrapping production in his directorial debut of "Ordinary People". He chose this gritty role because he felt that it was a socially important film that had to be made. I had almost forgotten until I started my background research that it was filmed entirely on location in Ohio. Locations included Columbus; the abandoned Junction City Prison Farm in Junction City, Ohio (that served as "Wakefield"); Lancaster and New Lexington, Ohio.
_____
Brubaker enters "Wakefield" prison posing as a convict to personally witness the severe abuses. Only after he defuses a tense confrontation with a crazed inmate (Morgan Freeman), Brubaker reveals to the guards and administrators that he's the new warden, assigned by the governor to infiltrate the facility undercover. After setting up office, Brubaker begins to dismantle decades of secrets maintained by inmates serving as "Trustees" to begin installing policies and procedures, including an inmate board to help initiate humane changes. With the help of an initially reluctant and skeptical chief trustee (Yaphet Kotto) and a compassionate ally (Jane Alexander), the new warden effects some positive change, but powerful business interests collude with corrupt politicians when his reform begins to threaten their financial bottom line.
_____
You'd never know it, but this fact-based prison drama was the result of a troubled production that saw original director Bob Rafelson replaced with Stuart Rosenberg Cool Hand Luke (1967) and The Amityville Horror (1979). Nevertheless, BRUBAKER was an acclaimed release and an Oscar-nominated, career-finale triumph for co-screenwriter Arthur A. Ross, creator of Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954) and father of successful writer/director Gary Ross.
A personal note here: A close friend of mine is the Cousin of Val Avery who has had more character roles than any actor I can think of. I can also remember my date to this film. A much "olderwoman", 28! She looked like a petite Suzanne Somers from "Three's Company". We were actually trying to get in to see Dustin Hoffman in "Kramer vs. Kramer", but it was sold out. So we saw this film. A toast to Christina! This girl was a hottie and scared me off by raising the topic of marriage on the fourth date. I moved to Texas the following year and had my interesting introduction to "Dixie Chick" Martie MaGuire (yawn). But we've already been there on this BLOG. The point? "Six degrees of separation", even if it's as tepid as four day old tea left out on the kitchen table.
_____
The final scene of this film is simply gripping and totally awe-inspiring. I'll warn you now, if you fast-forward to it, you will ruin the film experience. It must be seen from beginning to end. I saw it in the theater three times! The build-up to it is a rush, and a personal triumph for Redford's character. Amazingly, Redford came to Cincinnati to promote it. (I'm surprised concert tours even stop here!). But I digress...The film was nominated in 1981 for an Oscar for BestWriting, Screenplay--Written Directly for the Screen:W.D. Richter & Arthur A. Ross; Winner of the Golden Globe Award for Best Sound Editing - Dialogue. Richard Ward is saluted for his many years in film. Yaphet Kotto is fantastic!
This week, I am tickled to have a good friend and fellow Blog Bud as my Guest. She is the one, the only undisputed " Golfwidow"! So, read on and ENJOY!
___
Golfwidow (of Golfwidow's Ministry of Silly Walks--featured on this Blogroll) was among the first handful of friendships I made when I opened this Blog last June 15th. If there exists a person with a more wicked sense of humor and sharp wit covering the subjects permeating the International landscape from people, music, fashion, history, science, beers, morons, present day human behavior and otherwise unscripted fun that seems to happen wherever they go, then that person sadly remains undiscovered. Funny enough, Golfwidows Ministry of Silly Walks from its very title led me to assume (a dangerous practice--never assume) that she arrived here in the U.S. from a two-story flat conveniently located within a stones throw of 10 Downing Street where it is easy to conceive Golfwidow throwing open her second story window and shouting something to Prime Minister Blair as he disembarks from his Limo to begin his day at work. A prospect that would at the very least draw a smile from Tony if not make him fall down laughing on the sidewalk!
_____
On more than one occasion, I have owed a debt of gratitude to Golfwidow, who must have sensed I was a bit "green around the ears" when it came to this Blog business and she metaphorically guided me (gently) by the elbow away from potential riots that would have witnessed Martha Stewart emerging from the fracas with a 12 gauge shotgun pointed at me! So with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek I begged and pleaded (this is true!) for an interview after my well-publicized missed connection with Golfwidow on her recent travels to Columbus, Ohio. On that note we began our chat.
_____
MM:Your adventures are so vivid and powerful. And I couldn't help but note that they have included some mutual friends of ours such as Deni Bonet (Last Girl On Earth), LisaBinDaCity, Bud Buckley and D-Man Bites Dog. How would you describe your range of influence on all of us from tales of singing dirty Christmas songs to getting ripped and running into John Cleese?
___
GW: Ah, you seem to be referring to my online profile. I decided that the best way either to a) prove that "just because it's online doesn't mean it's true" or to b) concede to being yet another unreliable online source of synthetic, truth like, fabricated "facts," I would allow my friends and readers to make up my biography for me. It's far more interesting than the events that have really happened in my life. I think I have met, in person, maybe two or three of the total people who have, in that biography, claimed to have eaten, drunk, sang, or gotten naked with me. Which is, now I come to think of it, also safer than living that way in real life. As far as what you're calling my "range of influence," I perceive that as just an extension of the fact that, if I see something that amuses me, I tell other people about it. Sharing is one of the best things about being sentient - even if it's a horrible experience. Like asking people, "Have you ever eaten the chili at Duchess? WHY DO THEY PUT SWEET PICKLE RELISH IN IT? EW!!!" And then adding, "Here, taste some if you don't believe me." Shared experiences bring us, as a species, closer together. That's part of why I write online. I want not only to communicate, but to know that I'm not alone in some of the weird, wonderful, wretched, wacky, world-shattering W-words that I experience in my life.
___
MM: Somehow, the title of your Blog led me to believe you had some sort of English connection. How would you sum up my misunderstanding?
___
GW: You expect ME to sum up the workings of YOUR mind? I'm not a psychologist. I'm still not a hundred percent sure how the hell MY mind works. Maybe you misunderstood because you assumed that only British people can appreciate British-styled humor like Monty Python (which was inspired, if you go back far enough in an anthropological sense, by the Marx Brothers, who were either American or American immigrants - I'm too lazy to look it up). Maybe you thought I was British because you neglected to notice that I don't spell the word "humor" with a U before the R. It can't have had anything to do with my food choices, because, speaking of chili, the only time I ever had chili in London, it had peas and carrots in it. Peas and carrots have no business in chili. I should mention, before we go any further, that my general theory of humanity is that everyone in the world thinks that their religions, driving skills, and chili recipes are better than everyone else's in the world. Also, we're all correct in this belief. (Except the rest of the world, because I know for a fact that MY religion, driving skills, and chili recipe are better than everyone else's in the world.) This is why we will never have peace on earth.
___
MM: I know that anything can (and often does) happen when you are the "Pied Piper" on social outings to a Pub. Can you be specific about any recent outings that produced an adventure?
___
GW: I'm really not so much of a pied piper. I'm very shy and it takes quite a lot of coaxing to get me to meet new people. However, once I'm at a gathering and feel comfortable, I'll start putting my two-cents' worth into the conversation. I don't think I've ever done what some other people are capable of, inviting people to meet-and-greets and "holding court." I'm embarrassed by being the center of attention and would rather be the supporting character than the star. The supporting roles get a lot of good, funny lines. Or, as Jerry Stiller once said of performing Shakespeare, "Clowns and buffoons need not rhyme." That's me.
___
MM: Ah, Jerry had a birthday this past week too! Just for the record, Has Prime Minister Tony Blair ever contacted you about The Ministry of Silly Walks to determine what it is that you do?
___
GW: I suppose he would, except that I didn't create the Ministry. I joined it in tribute to my worship of all things Monty Python. Also, since I receive no grant money for my research on behalf of the ministry, I venture to say that Tony Blair gives approximately less than a shit what I do. John Cleese, who did create not only the Ministry but also the Silly Walk that is its namesake, has never contacted me either. Which is odd, because Schweppes is my favorite Ginger Ale.
___
MM: That is strange. Let's switch gears for a moment and talk about your hubby, a.k.a. "That Man of Mine". As you know I'm a proud member of your List of Heroes for the children's charity. For those who may have been on an extended vacation in Haiti, what is this all about and how can we help?
___
GW: One doesn't get a name like Golfwidow by accident. One must earn it. This is how I multitask: I get my golf-crazy husband out of the house so I can have a few hours of peace and quiet, he comes home happy because he's gotten to play golf, I'm happy because I can prepare foods that he doesn't like or is allergic to (such as crab cakes or insalata caprese), and we've both done something worthwhile for charity. Annually, the Richter Golf Course in Danbury, Connecticut, hosts a charity tournament benefiting the Hanahoe Children's Clinic, a thirty year-old institution offering stellar pediatric care regardless of a patient's ability to pay. You can read about it in more detail, and find out how to contribute, at http://diarytown.com/golfwidow/thatman.html. I had to set up a web page for them in my own online space and do a lot of research in the process, because there was literally no information about them online whatsoever when That Man first started golfing in the tournament. Golf is, to my way of thinking, one of the world's most boring activities pretending to be a sport. You can see my comic strip illustrating my opinion, here: http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/golfwidow/328114
___
MM: You strike me, Golfwidow, as a Connoisseur of Fine Beers, and yet you seem to consume vast quantities of ice water. What's up with that?
___
GW: I drink lots of things. In addition to ice water, I consume vast quantities of coffee, tea, energy beverages, beer, ginger ale, Irish whiskey, diet Coke, cranberry juice, and heaven knows what-all else. What I don't drink anymore in vast quantities is milk. I love it, but am allergic. I have taken to putting Bolthouse's vanilla chai soy on my cereal. But back to the ice water, which was the original gist of your question: it's a matter of practicing what I preach. I have been trying to get That Man of Mine to consume less diet Coke, because not only is it not healthful for him to drink only caffeinated, artificially-sweetened and flavored beverages, but also because he refuses to drink generics or other cola brands that might be on sale when diet Coke is full price, so that's kind of an expensive habit on his part. I told him he could have all the diet Coke he wanted as long as, for each glass of diet Coke, he also drank a full glass of ice water. I figured if it didn't actually cut his Coke consumption in half, it would at least help keep him a little more healthy. Then, as I noticed that the Brita pitcher wasn't actually being used by him, I started drinking the ice water from it myself, both to set a good example and to make sure I was getting my money's worth from that filter, which is also not cheap. This led to my drawing a glass of ice water from the pitcher right before I sat down at the computer at any given time. Which means that, when I get to the point in my post where I share what I'm drinking, the answer tends toward being "ice water" more often than not. Since the last habit I used to have before I sat down at the computer at any given time was making sure I had cigarettes and a clean ashtray, I feel a bit better about myself. (Also, while my favorite beverage to drink whilst working is, indeed, good beer, beer is a dear passion of mine, and it makes me fatter. Whereas, when was the last time you heard of someone getting a water-belly?)
___
MM: Hey! I have Brita too!! All right. Let's talk about your musical tastes. What makes you "shake your booty" these days?
___
GW: You'd better hope I DON'T shake my booty. The planet's tectonicu are unstable enough without that added stress. My musical tastes are, really, all over the place. I credit my mother with this development, as she always has encouraged me to try new experiences, whether it be food, books, or music, (or even getting to know a person) before making judgments about it. As a result, my iPod is a hodgepodge of styles, my CD collection is a rummage sale, and I have stacks of vinyl records and eight-track tapes ranging from classical and baroque to rock and punk. I'm also quite the packrat when it comes to music, but I frequently dust off old favorites and listen to them as the mood strikes. Music is so very evocative of memory for me, which is why I cannot, to this day, listen to Lou Rawls, despite loving his songs: he was at the top of the Billboard charts the week my grandfather died, when I was a tiny kid, and just a few bars of "Lady Love" puts me right back into the horrified, heartbroken emotion that slammed me when I found out I was never ever going to see my sweet grandpa again. Again, with music, I always try to keep an account of what I was listening to at any given time, not only for my own reference, but to share it with everyone else. I love when someone comments on one of my posts that the song I was listening to is one of their favorites. It's sort of like making a telepathic connection.
___
MM: I totally understand. I miss my Grandpa too. You were a reluctant participant in my efforts with “D-Man Bites Dog” to unseat either "TheJimmy KimmelShow"or "The Big Idea with Donny Deutche" with our own unique show where I even offered my services as the "new" Ed McMahon, sitting next to your desk and laughing maniacally at various intervals at your humor. What's behind this modesty?
___
GW: A combination of my aforementioned introversion and stage fright at being at the center of attention, plus the fear of not having an original angle. There are, to my way of thinking, too many talk shows out there, and they all seem to offer the same stuff to, essentially, the same demographics. Why be another Pat Sajak or Charles Grodin when I can just stay here and not worry about what my hair or wardrobe looks like at any given time? Besides, if you have a talk show, you have to run the risk of Kathy Griffin pestering you to be on it all the time. I wouldn't be able to dodge her forever.
___
MM: Yeah, I saw the episode of her in tears inside her Limo after being banned from Jay Leno. So you may have something there! Although she's not a bad looking girl. But I digress...I must ask this or my loyal readers (all 7 of them) won't forgive me. You've written recently about unwinding the car window and screaming at cows and certain roadside distractions as "That Man of Yours" drove along the highway. What prompted this?
___
GW: Boredom. Seriously. If nothing in the car is holding my interest, I look outside. One of my favorite English teachers encouraged us to seek out what he called "fabulous reality" -- the things that are just enough skewed to stand out from everyday life. If you're driving and you see a bunch of kids playing, that's reality. If you see a bunch of kids playing on one side of the street and one kid all by himself on the other side of the street, running around with a towel pinned round his neck and a Cape Cod Chips tin on his head, that's fabulous reality. The fact that I yell things out the window is, again, a testament to my desire to share. If it's fabulous reality, let everyone have some of it. Silverware, next right. Yard sale? Let's stop and buy some yard.
___
MM: Clearly, you have an eye for talent. If we Bloggers rented a Double-Decker bus from New York City and showed up on your front lawn unannounced and you opened the door as we shouted "Surprise!" what would we hear playing on your stereo in the background?
___
GW: Watch your verbiage, mister. If I have an eye for talent, then what you'd HEAR on my stereo would be irrelevant. I don't even think I have, necessarily, an ear for talent. I know what I like and what I like to share. That said, assuming that I was home when you showed up in your rented bus, assuming that I had the stereo on, and assuming that I was listening to something I think is not necessarily as well known as it ought to be, it'd probably be Bud (Buckley), D-Man, Deni, Bob Gentry, or These Green Eyes. If you or your readers are not listening to any or all of these musicians, you should at least give them a fair shot. This, by the way, is only a tiny sampling. I'm very broke, and I listen to a lot of independent musicians online because it's free or cheaper than buying CDs or music downloads.
___
MM: Ah, okay! Well, I'm already a huge fan of Deni and Bud. But I've missed D-Man and These Green Eyes, so I'll have to fix that! Hey! Let's talk Theatre? Have you seen anything impressive lately?
___
GW: Live? Not lately. I have two primary live-performance goals: Spamalot and The Reduced Shakespeare Company. I'd be so happy to see either or both. At the movies (to which I rarely go because That Man of Mine, though he claimed, when we met, to love the movies, was actually lying to make me like him), I have recently seen The DaVinci Code, which was not as good as the book, X3, which was not as good as the comic books, and Over the Hedge, which was at least as good as the comic strip and had William Shatner as Ozzie, which was inspired casting.
___
MM: 'Inspired Casting'! (Laughing) I love that!! (Serious demeanor returns) What should every new Blogger know before they visit your site?
___
GW: How to close their browser windows if they don't like what I write. Actually, anyone who visits any online site ought to know how to close their browser windows. No one's nailing your eyeballs to the screen, people. If you're referring to some sort of guide as to "how to read this blog," the only answer I'd have would be, "In English, from the left margin to the right margin, working downwards toward the end of the page." Basically you can start anywhere. That's the beauty of having the sort of mind that throws brain confetti like Rip Taylor on speed. Some of it is very topical, some of it is very historical, some of it is anachronistic, but it's all still got its own sense of individuality. I do try to link back to past posts if I think a post doesn't stand alone and needs more clarification. If you see a link in one of my posts, it's worth your while to click it, even if you get lost somewhere else on the web for a while. Keep your brains moving.
___
MM: Well said! Your keen eye from a public relations perspective has always been reliable. What would you say to Britney Spears, Tom Cruise and Michael Jackson? Are they a lost cause, or should we heed Mick Jagger's advice to 'give them shelter?'
___
GW: I would love to be able to say to anyone and everyone, famous or not, "If you want to be the center of attention, you have to be prepared for bad attention as well." This doesn't mean hiding behind big sunglasses and darting furtively into a restaurant via the kitchen entrance. It does mean that, if you don't want people to make fun of the fact that you go out in curlers, don't go out in curlers. If you don't want people not to take your religion seriously, don't cite your religion whilst jumping on a sofa or castigating someone not of your religion for not doing things the way your religion does. If you are male and don't want to be pointed toward the ladies' room, don't wear traditional woman's garb and keep your face veiled in the country where you have to pee. And so on. On the other hand, if celebrities didn't do inexplicably silly things, I'd never have anything to talk about.
___
MM: Surely, GW you have a concept of your ideal "Dream Vacation". What is it?
GW: I have always wanted to take a yearlong tour of the great breweries of the world, journaling my experiences, taking pictures, sampling (of course), and, ultimately, writing a book. Though others far more knowledgeable and talented than I have already done this, I want to experience it myself.
___
MM: My curiosity is killing me. Where do you get your inspiration for your great BLOGs?
___
GW: I get all my ideas from Stephen King. I don't know where he gets them from. I dare you to ask him though. I'll hide in this foxhole and wait. When I started doing this, I didn't have any inspiration. All I had was a burning desire to write. So I glued my butt to my seat and forced myself to write every day. The more I did this, the more I found myself observing my world as deeply as possible, looking for ideas -- those fabulous realities I talked about before. It's like exercising any muscle; if you do it long enough, it becomes effortless, and you find ways to add weights or adjust the tension or go a little farther to keep it working for you and to make yourself stronger. It's also like exercise in that some days you don't feel like it, and also that, if you stop doing it entirely, the ability atrophies and you have to start from scratch.
___
MM: Is there anything scandalous we should know about you?
___
GW: I pick the peas out of the fried rice. Actually, I pick the peas out of anything I'm eating. I KNOW they're supposed to be good for me. But I have never liked peas and I never will. And, yes, Mom, I did try them before I knew I didn't like them. The tabloids will be all over my pea-prejudice now, I'm quite sure. This will probably lose me my presidential nomination.
___
MM: Describe for us your idea of a "Fun Night on the town"?
___
GW: A table in a bar, with music, good beer, and fattening snacks. Decent people to talk to and listen to. No dancing unless you really want to. No karaoke unless I'm very drunk. If Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, actually existed (or will exist), I'd like to go there for a little food, a little wine, and the universe going foom.
___
MM: I see your limousine has slowly pulled up to the curb outside. So as Bill O'Reilly is fond of saying these days, "I'll give you the last word".
___
GW: I'm giving everyone else the last word. Look at your world. Be amazed. Then discuss. The whole communication thing works best when we're actually, you know, communicating. Or, to carry another metaphor a bit further, make a batch of your Best Chili in the World, go meet someone new, let him or her taste your chili, and have some of theirs. We KNOW it won't be as good as yours, but it'll still be good (unless they've put peas, carrots, or sweet pickle relish in it). And remember, we ask for advice when what we really want is permission. Keep that in mind the next time you're thinking about asking someone else what you ought to do with your life.
___
MM: Ladies and Gentlemen, Golfwidow has just left the building! I'm looking out the window and I can tell you that her Limo is pulling away and....... I feel like Hedda Hopper telling you that, but it’s true! What a great lady!! Again, you can click on Golfwidow’s Ministry of Silly Walks located proudly in the right hand margin of this website on my Blogroll. And by all means, HAVE FUN!
Here's a totally unpredictable pick that is pure fun: AMERICAN GRAFFITI ! This is really more of my two older brother's generation in topic, albeit the release date was 1973 and my hormones for women had kicked in three years earlier! Considered one of the "Greatest 500 Films Ever Made", this was filmed by a very young George Lucas on a shoestring of a budget (under $1 million). It is a hallmark film in that it beautifully captures the feel and look and the Rock and Roll of the early 60's in small-town America - before President Kennedy's assassination during the New Frontier. I see it as an innocence that has been lost. A massive advertising campaign coined the slogan for the film, "Where were you in '62?", before the Beatles era began two years later.
__________
George Lucas, age 28, was an ex-USC film student and intern at Warner Brothers and true to its claim, every studio in Hollywood refused "American Graffiti" except for Universal. The huge financial success of the movie helped usher in a new breed of maverick director/producer who is today what the old moguls were in the 1940's--Steven Spielberg and Francis Ford Coppola among them.
__________
The film was Lucas' homage to the memories of his own teenage years in Modesto, California, where the film was shot. Vintage hot rods, Mel's Drive-In and the non-stop rock soundtrack, centers on the final night of teenage crusin' and makin' out, and characteristic hair and clothing styles. "Another Slow Night in Modesto" and "Rock Around the Block" were originally considered as alternative titles, and discarded ---Thank God! At this time, Director Francis Ford Coppola had tremendous success with 1972's "The Godfather" and joined Lucas in the effort as the film's producer. The film's screenplay was co-authored by Lucas with a USC friend Willard Huyck and his wife Gloria Katz. From this financial success (an estimated $55 million in its first release), Lucas reinvested his money into his next huge epic, "Star Wars"(1977).
__________
The plotunrolls in a series of vignettes from dusk to the morning of the following day focusing primarily on four characters: a rebel, a nerd, a solid citizen, and the king of the road. All of the major characters in the ensemble cast are recent or soon-to-be Dewey High School graduates ranging in age from 17 to 20 enjoying one last hot, late summer night in 1962. While cruisin' and hanging out at the local Mel's Drive-In, we get four interweaving story lines about lives on the precipice of major life career decisions (attending college or finding a job) and enduring traumas along the way.
__________
The film's soundtrack is good fun! Over 40 Early Rock hits pour out of cruising car radios, or the school dance's record player as background music to define the emotions, dreams and frustrations of the group, ranging over almost a decade (from 1955-1962). The late, Legendary DJ Wolfman Jack who appears on the radio as himself. What I think you will love the most is the sheer collection of "up and coming actors, such as Richard Dreyfuss, Cindy Williams, Ron Howard (best known as child actor Opie on TV's The Andy Griffith Show, and currently a bald film director---he had hair in this film!), Harrison Ford, Paul Le Mat, Candy Clark, Charles Martin Smith, Mackenzie Phillips, Kathleen Quinlan, Suzanne Somers, Debralee Scott, Joe Spano, and Bo Hopkins. So many of these stars went on to huge film and television careers, such as TV's Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley (Cindy Williams), One Day at a Time (Mackenzie Phillips), Three's Company (Suzanne Somers), Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman,Hill Street Blues (Joe Spano), The Lords of Flatbush and The Conversation,The Man Who Fell to Earth, The Goodbye Girl (Richard Dreyfuss), the aforementioned Star Wars, Melvin and Howard (Charles Martin Smith) and Apollo 13.
__________
Amazingly, the film was nominated for five Academy Awards including Best Picture, Best Supporting Actress (for 26 year old Candy Clark), Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Film Editing,but it came away empty-handed!
__________
The Cast in reverse order of Character first: Steve Bolander '62 (19 year old Ron Howard), a conservative, clean-cut, short-sleeved, All-American type, university-bound high-school graduate who was Class President, and interested in English; Terry Fields '63 (20 year old Charles Martin Smith) a rising senior interested in business; a nerdy, bespectacled, duck-tailed kid known as "The Toad," with a pink and black shirt and white bucks. [Yup, this was how director, George Lucas saw himself]; Curtis Henderson '62(26 year old Richard Dreyfuss) another recent graduate interested in Science - an intelligent, plaid-shirted character. Curt is the recipient of the first scholarship, two thousand dollars, ever given out by the Moose Lodge to the top student. Restless and uncertain about leaving for college; Laurie Henderson '63 (26 year old hottie Cindy Williams); Curt's slightly-younger sister and Steve's pretty, steady girlfriend with a short-bobbed do. Another rising senior and the Head Cheer Leader, she wears Steve's oversized letterman sweater. Very hot! Oh yeah, we also have the slightly older guy who tools around in a yellow, '32 Ford deuce coupe - John Milner '60 (21 year old Paul Le Mat), who has been out of high school two years earlier and is an auto mechanic reminiscent of the town's "Marlon Brando" and the undisputed drag-racing idol going nowhere fast. Harrison Ford is the new guy in town to challenge Milner to a drag race. At the time, Ford was a carpenter and roofer who was on the cusp of giving up acting! Well, this is going to be a different film for "Friday Movie Suggestion Night". But why not let the car hop waitresses on roller skates deliver our food as we sit back and enjoy a fun film with great music and a menagerie of what life was like for George Lucas!
For the benefit of newcomers, on Thursdays I post a Movie as a tongue in cheek suggestion, as I am no Roger Ebert. But"Friday Movie Suggestion Night" is a labor of love for me. Those of you "across the pond" will love this movie, "CHARIOTS OF FIRE", Winner of 4 Academy Awards including Best Picture, Best Screenplay, Best Score (by Vangelis) and Best Costume (Milena Canonero) (1981). Yes, for the sake of attribution, I'll mention that Bob Thomas of The Associated Press called this selection "A rare, intelligent, beautiful movie. Thoroughly rewarding".
_______________
The Plot: Based on a true story of two very different long-distance runners competing for the 1924 Olympics in Paris. Each one runs...not just for the sake of running, but "to prove something to the world". Harold Abrahams (Ben Cross) is a Jewish Cambridge student who sees victory as a challenge to anti-semitism and acceptance by English elite, while Eric Liddell (Ian Charleston) is a devout Christian who sees his victory as a testament to the glory of God. The team seeks to bring honor to Britain in an inspiring and universally beloved story that brought Ben Cross, Ian Charleston, Nigel Havers (Lord Andrew Lindsay), Nicholas Farrell (Aubrey Montague), Ian Holm (Sam Mussobini) and Alice Krige (Sybil Gordon) their first major movie roles along with director Hugh Hudson's debut ("I Dreamed of Africa"). Producer David Puttnam ("The Killing Fields", "Local Hero"). Strong Cinematic storytelling from the sounds of feet hitting the sand to the slow-motion sequences blended so well into this film resulting in a unique and lasting impact. Vangelis provides his unforgettable Oscar Winning score that is beautifully matched to every aspect of this film (including the Classical Blake's "Jerusalem") and brings to life the athletic competition where anything is sacrificed except honor. The challenge from within is viscerally set with such perfection that we feel we are actually in the story ourselves!
Basically, I'm a Public Relations Consultant with a background in Broadcast News. I've worked as a Reporter and Anchor with PBS, ABC, CBS & NBC affiliates and in Cable Television. I'm active in Radio & Television Commercials, Guest Speaking engagements and I enjoy writing, music and sports.
