ROAD RAGE WITH A COOL ACCENT!

With our friends in England so much on our minds and in our hearts, I have a simple story. Clive has been one of my best friends for 9 years (the only person who jokingly calls me "Miguel" knowing I hate "Mike"). He uses his cell phone a lot in business, and until this year I served on the Advisory Board of his non-profit organization that works to raise awareness of the dangers of losing our rainforest's worldwide. He and I always had our Day Timers and filled them with topics we wanted to bring up over breakfast. One morning, he phoned me at home while driving his van. (You must read "Clive's" part with his English accent in mind. In restaurants, everyone around us would eavesdrop, they enjoyed listening to him so much. He was used to the eavesdropping. ("It's the accent. I'm used to it", he'd whisper). I found it rude that people did this, and I would start making up wild stories to shock the eavesdroppers to "get a life" and Clive was always game! Anyway: this is an actual phone conversation.

Me: Hello?

Clive: Miguel? Are you awake?

Me: Oh, yeah. After two cups of coffee I'm fine. What's going on?

Clive: Um, there was something I wanted to ask you.......and now that I have you on the phone I can't think of the bloody question. Let's see, what was it? Don't you just hate it when......OH NO! (sound of Clive frantically beeping his van's horn about 25 times). WHAT A MORON! (more frantic mashing of the horn). This IDIOT just cut across THREE lanes of traffic and nearly clipped my fender. (hanging out his window yelling in background) 'Who gave you driving lessons? Idi Amin!...Moron!'

Me: Clive, take it easy. There is such a thing as road rage ya know.

Clive: I DON'T CARE!

Me: Yeah, well some people have guns.

Clive: I DON'T CARE!

Me: Yeah? Do you have a gun?

Clive: (5 seconds of pondering): No. But I have a cell phone. And I can assure you that if I want to I can have that car surrounded by the Calvary in mere minutes!

Me: Ha! Minutes!! Man, you wouldn't even have seconds if this guy is armed.

Clive: (10 seconds of pondering and calmer): I guess you do have a point, Miguel.

Me: Well, yeah. Suppose this guy is a nut?

Clive: Or an escaped convict! Could be, you know!

Me: Jesus, Clive! Talk about a heart attack.

Clive: (long pause): I suppose......Why do people DO that? A COMPLETE MORON? No care whatsoever for life or property. If I hadn't been observant, he would have collided with the van!

Me: Well, there's morons mixed in with nice people. That's the world, ya know.

Clive: I still can't remember what I wanted to ask you, Miguel.

Me: Well, I'll be here. And when it comes back to you just give me a buzz.

Clive: You're a good man, Miguel. I didn't even ask what's going on in your world?

Me: God! Hanging out the window and screaming. That's a first!

Clive: (laughing) Idi Amin! What movie was that from?

Me: Something with Goldie Hawn.

Clive: Now, there's a diversion! Oh, NOW I remember what I wanted to ask you. When did we say we're meeting on Saturday to go over the By-Laws?